


To Be Here

by CassidyBlue



Series: To Be Here Collection [1]
Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:44:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassidyBlue/pseuds/CassidyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andy and Sharon finally get around to talking about their relationship. Everything seems fine - until Jackson shows up and everything goes to hell...in the worst possible way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All I've Got To Say

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own them, much to my eternal sadness. I am but borrowing them for just a little while. 
> 
> A/N: I do not write fan fiction. That is to say, I never have before - for any show. I was never planning to, either, content to watch the show and read and enjoy the amazing works of fiction produced by others who love the show as much as I do. Then one day, while I was innocently minding my own business, Raydor and Flynn marched into my head - and promptly staged a sit-in, refusing to leave until I told their story. Or, at least, my interpretation of their story. So, inevitably, I gave in (who could ignore the Raydor death-stare or Flynn's puppy-dog eyes?) and this is the result. It's far from perfect, so comments are appreciated but please do try to be kind! I am, after all, just a hopeless fangirl with my two favourite characters yelling directions from the sidelines. Who am I to ignore them?! (And no, despite the promises, they haven't left yet!)
> 
> All mistakes are mine alone.
> 
> Set a few weeks after the second season finale. Adult themes are present throughout.

Sharon Raydor smiled softly to herself as she surveyed the scene before her. The Major Crimes division was celebrating the closure of a particularly difficult and ultimately sad case involving the death of a high school senior at the hands of her own father. They had all been affected by it, one way or another, so when Sykes had suggested that they go for a meal together - a kind of unofficial debriefing - they had all jumped at the chance to unwind. Even Buzz, who wasn't always one for team bonding sessions, had agreed to join them. 

So here they were at a cozy little Italian place close to the office - a hidden gem that Flynn had discovered - eating and drinking together late on a Friday evening. Sharon had been touched when Provenza came to her office to invite her. She hadn't expected it, but she was certainly not going to say no.

She looked around at the group. Mike and Buzz were having a friendly disagreement about the best way to use some new software that had been introduced into Electronics. Provenza was regaling Amy and Julio with stories from his early days in Robbery/Homicide, making Sharon chuckle while Flynn rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion. She and Andy had been around long enough to remember some of the incidents that the older lieutenant was now liberally embellishing.

Ah yes, Andy Flynn.

He had long been her closest friend on the squad. The first to accept her. Her first real ally. Just lately, though, he had become so much more than that.

Sharon had felt his eyes on her all night when he thought she hadn't been aware of him. And she was getting pretty good at pretending not to be aware of him, especially at work. The truth of it was, however, vastly different. Over the past few months she had been hyperaware of his presence: of the gentle waft of his aftershave as she passed his desk; of the warmth of him standing next to or behind her in the murder room - it was funny, she thought, how they always managed to gravitate towards each other there; of the sound of his voice; of his eyes burning into her through her office window; of the ever-present guiding hand at the small of her back that from anyone else she would find patronising, but from him was a source of reassurance and even comfort. 

It had been worse since the wedding, of course.

They had danced together a little that night. They had laughed a lot. Andy had cried proud tears over his little girl getting married and Sharon had squeezed his hand tight, stroking his arm gently and leaning her head on his shoulder as his arm came around her and held her close.

He had kissed her for the first time that night, too. A chaste, respectful kiss, yet the passion she felt behind it had taken her breath away.

Their evening at The Nutcracker had gone much the same way. A look here, a touch there, soft kisses as they said goodnight. She hadn't wanted him to leave her that night - and she knew he hadn't wanted to go - but she couldn't find the courage to ask him to stay. So she had let him leave and things had returned to normal. Almost.

Tonight, the subtle shift that had been slowly happening in their relationship continued unabated. They sat next to each other at the restaurant, completely comfortable in each other's presence. Almost without her realising, Sharon's hand would come to rest occasionally on Andy's arm as they talked. He leaned in to her frequently, to share a joke or whisper a comment about one of Provenza's ridiculous stories. His lips would brush her ear as he did so, her head then leaning on his shoulder as she laughed. They had been moving closer together all evening, until their thighs remained touching, neither one of them willing to break the contact once it had been established. Each seemed to have an innate need to touch the other, to keep some kind of physical connection throughout the evening. 

Neither of them was drinking: Andy for obvious reasons and Sharon because she was driving herself home later on. The rest of the team was very far from drunk, but they were certainly more relaxed than they might be without the benefit of alcohol. Sharon didn't mind. She liked seeing them off duty like this. She liked that they were no longer afraid to share this side of themselves with her.

She was proud of these people, she realised. She was honoured to be their leader. She had come to love this team. _Her_ team. She finally had their acceptance and it meant the world to her.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

It was almost eleven when Sharon pushed her chair back and stood, reaching for her blazer.

"You're not leaving, Captain?" Amy asked, sounding disappointed.

"I am, I'm afraid," Sharon replied with a small smile. "I promised Rusty that I wouldn't be late."

"You know, the kid is fine without you," Provenza piped up. "Not that I mind you leaving, of course." She could have taken this as an insult, except that she knew him well enough by now to know when his gruff demeanour was an act - which was most of the time these days. They had overcome their hostility and reached a state bordering on real friendship - although the lieutenant would rather die than ever admit that.

"Of course, Lieutenant." Sharon bowed slightly, suppressing a giggle as she did so.

Andy had stood at the same time she did. 

"I'll walk you to your car." 

It was a statement of intent, not an offer - one which earned them a knowing look from the by now slightly inebriated Provenza. Sharon hummed her acquiescence as Andy helped her on with her blazer, a puzzled look on her face and what she could only describe as a nervous feeling settling suddenly in her stomach.

He reached for her hand as they exited the restaurant and she held his tightly, their fingers laced together. They strolled to her car in silence and Sharon started to think that maybe there was no reason for her unexplained anxiety after all. She unlocked the vehicle and turned to face him with a smile. He leaned down to her, kissing her gently on the cheek, and she turned back ready to leave.

"Sharon, wait!" His voice was urgent and so was the touch on her arm.

Suddenly, the nervous feeling that had developed while still in the restaurant turned to abject terror as Sharon realised that she knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Sharon." He took her hand gently, turning her to face him. "We have to talk about us." He looked into her eyes earnestly. He was determined to finally say what he had been feeling for so long. "We've been dancing around this for too long," he started. Sharon looked quickly at the ground, only meeting his eyes again when she realised that he wasn't going to continue without eye contact. He wasn't going to let her hide - not this time. "We've wasted so much time," he told her, sadly. "We get closer than we've ever been and then something happens and we drift again. I don't want to drift any more. I just want to be with you."

"Andy..." Sharon was conflicted. She wanted this, yet she was scared to make the leap. Terrified of letting him in. It was stupid, she knew. When they weren't actually talking about it - at the wedding, at the ballet, at her home - they couldn't have been any closer. Anyone looking at them would just assume from their body language, their interactions, that they were together. Hell, his family had assumed exactly that - and she had let them. Yet when the issue was actually voiced, all her insecurities - all the crap that Jack had used to completely fuck her up over the years - bubbled to the surface and all she wanted to do was escape. She knew it was irrational. God, she knew he wasn't Jack. She just couldn't seem to help the way she felt. She took her hand back from him and immediately shoved both of her hands into her blazer pockets. Andy sighed, frustrated. She was hiding again - he could almost see her putting the walls up. He had expected this reaction, even while he was hoping that it wouldn't happen. At least she was predictable. 

He put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from turning away. Whatever the consequences now, he needed her to hear this. "I know that there are probably a million and one reasons why we shouldn't be together," he continued forcefully. "But dammit, Sharon, I'm in love with you!"

Her eyes widened in shock at the admission, but she wasn't surprised. She had known he loved her, even if she had chosen not to acknowledge it, even to herself. She had felt it in his kisses. She had heard it in the panic in his voice when he called to tell her of the threat in her building - and the terror when he realised that she was going after the stalker alone. She had seen the truth of it in those eyes that night - the night Rusty had to leave. He had come to her late, when everyone but her security detail had left, when she was all alone. He had come on a pretext, dropping by some food because she hadn't eaten, but she knew he was there for her. He had stroked her hair softly and held her in his arms as she cried.

Her mind whirled, searching desperately for an answer, for the right thing to do. Maybe she should lie to him, tell him she didn't love him too. It would certainly be easier - but then she would lose him and she knew she couldn't do that. Besides, how could she pretend she didn't love him? She loved him so completely she thought her heart might just break with the enormity of it all.

"Andy, I'm..." she began, before stopping abruptly and swallowing the words back down. They both knew what she was about to say - and they both knew that, as excuses went, this one was total bullshit. It would be insulting to both of them to even finish the sentence: 'I'm a married woman.'

They both knew her marriage was over. If she had doubted it before, last summer had been the final straw. She had finally - and, to her own amazement and blessed relief, willingly - closed the door on Jackson Raydor. She had even changed the locks this time.

Sharon took a deep breath and tried again. She forced herself to look at Andy, to meet his gentle gaze with her own. Her green eyes, swimming with emotion, locked onto his brown ones. The openness she found there almost took her breath away. He was baring his heart to her, whatever the consequences may be. He needed her to see his sincerity and she did, absolutely. This man - her beloved lieutenant - was being painfully, unflinchingly honest with her tonight and she knew she owed him the same. The last of her defences crumbled as she continued to search his eyes with her own, finally allowing him access to all of her. Finally letting him see what was in her very soul.

"Andy," she said again, her voice only slightly above a whisper but he heard every word she said. "I love you," she said simply, watching as the fear in his eyes turned first to relief and then, finally, undisguised joy. She paused, before continuing quietly. "But I'm...I'm afraid," she finally admitted.

Andy raised his hand until his thumb came to rest on her cheek, his touch feather-light, his brown eyes so impossibly gentle. She thought she might just fall apart completely under the intensity of his emotions. So slowly, he leaned down to her so that he could brush his lips against her own - once, then again, still soft but with slightly more pressure than before. 

Sharon melted. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back to give him better access to her lips. His hand, still resting against her cheek, began to stroke her face gently. Her hand came up to caress the back of his neck as his tongue sought permission to enter her mouth - permission which, for the first time, she didn't hesitate to grant him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer as she deepened the kiss, their bodies touching. He pushed her gently back until she was caught between the car door and his body. His free hand came to rest at her waist, his thumb drawing lazy circles against her ribcage. Her body tingled under his every touch.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

"What the hell is taking Flynn so long?" Provenza grumbled as he waited for his designated driver to return. "Buzz. Go find him and tell him to get his ass back here!"

"Um, I'm not sure that's a good idea, Lieutenant..." Buzz stuttered. He saw the look on the older man's face and decided maybe it would be better to just do as he was told. He got up with a resigned sigh and went to the door of the restaurant. He opened it and looked around, spotting Andy and the Captain across the parking lot. He was about to call across to Andy when he registered exactly what was happening in front of him. Quickly, he ducked back inside and closed the door.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

"You are so goddamn beautiful," Andy murmured, breaking the kiss so that he could focus instead on her neck. She hummed low in her throat as he trailed butterfly kisses along her collarbone, back up her neck to her jaw and finally back to her mouth. The tension that had been building between them for the last few months electrified the air around them. 

Sharon grabbed hold of Andy's jacket and tugged him ever closer, sucking gently on his tongue in her mouth and causing him to release a groan. His hands moved down to her hips and he gently pulled her to him until there was no space between their bodies at all. Her hand moved up into his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp, sending jolts of electricity coursing through his body. He moaned into her mouth and she pressed her body against him, humming in pleasure at contact she felt like she had been waiting a lifetime for.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Buzz practically ran back to the table, sitting down quickly while avoiding anyone's gaze, particularly Provenza's. He was pale and there was a look of mild shock on his face which immediately had the rest of them intrigued.

"Buzz? Are you okay? Is he coming?" Provenza fired the questions at him in quick succession.

"Uh..." Buzz made a kind of strangled sound in the back of his throat and fiddled with a paper napkin on the table. "I didn't actually speak to him. He was a little...uh...busy."

"Busy?" Julio repeated, confused. "I thought he was just walking the Captain to... _Ohhh_." Realisation suddenly dawned when he saw the look on the other man's face. " _That_ kind of busy," Julio grinned knowingly.

"Oh no," Provenza shook his head violently. "No no no no no!"

"I don't get it," Amy piped up from her seat. 

Provenza shot her a withering glare. "Enlighten her, Buzz," he ordered.

"Do I have to, Sir?" The look Provenza gave him said that yes, he did. "Fine." He closed his eyes. "There may have been kissing involved," he grimaced. 

"Oh, God," Provenza muttered.

"Lots of kissing," Buzz continued. He opened one eye, then the other. Amy's face was still a blank. "Oh, for God's sake, they were making out like teenagers against the side of her car, Amy!"

Amy's eyes went wide. "The Captain and the Lieutenant?" she asked incredulously.

Buzz closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. "Yes."

"They were... _getting it on_?" she whispered.

"Yes!"

A look of sudden understanding crossed her features, before she cocked her head to the side and looked confused again. "Why?"

Provenza rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Because they're idiots," he said forcefully.

"About time if you ask me," Mike smiled to himself. "I was beginning to think they'd never get their act together!"

Provenza just glared at Mike in horror.

"Oh." Amy took a gulp of her drink. "So, you all knew?" she asked. "That they liked each other, I mean?"

"I can't believe you didn't!" Provenza snapped. "Flynn's been behaving like a lost puppy around her for months now, he's stopped dating, she's been going with him to all these family events - and surely you must have seen all the touchy-feely crap. You're a goddamn detective, Sykes!"

"Anyone can see they belong together. I think it's sweet," Julio said with a grin, knowing it would annoy the hell out of Provenza.

"Sweet?!" the lieutenant exploded, as predicted. "Are you crazy? It's idiotic! It's a recipe for disaster! It's...it's..."

"Calm down, Sir," Amy interrupted his blustering. "You shouldn't get so worked up, it's not healthy, especially for a man your age." Provenza gawked at her, momentarily speechless, his mouth open and his eyes wide with anger.

Mike sniggered while Julio almost choked on his beer.

"They don't even have an excuse - they're both sober!" Provenza continued his rant.

Buzz groaned and dropped his head to the table with a loud thud. "I feel like I just walked in on my parents." Mike chuckled at that and Julio grinned widely, patting Buzz sympathetically on the shoulder.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

After what seemed like an eternity, Andy reluctantly pulled back. If he didn't stop now, he wouldn't be able to, and the last thing he wanted to do was spook her by moving too fast - not now he was finally under her defences. He tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at her intently.

"When you're ready, I'm here," he told her softly, those beautiful eyes never leaving hers. "I'm always here."

Her reply was no more than a whisper, but he heard it anyway.

"I know." She always knew. Leaning up to him, Sharon brushed her lips against his in a goodnight kiss. Her hand was at the back of his neck again as she moved her face next to his ear. "Call me tomorrow." Her voice had taken on a low, husky quality that meant she could have asked him to do absolutely anything and he would have agreed without question.

He held her head in his hands, his palms cupping her face tenderly. "I will call you tomorrow," he promised, smiling down at her. He stepped back and opened her car door for her with a flourish. "I love you."

Sharon grinned at him, before lowering herself into the vehicle. 

"I love you, too."

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Andy sauntered back into the restaurant feeling lighter than he had in a long time. Of course, this bubble was swiftly burst by his partner.

"Flynn! Where the hell have you been?" Provenza squinted at him. "And why do you have lipstick on your collar?" Andy glanced down at his shirt quickly, desperately looking for the giveaway stain. It took him a minute to realise that Provenza was chuckling to himself loudly.

"Bastard," Andy muttered, feeling his cheeks redden.

"Well, if you hadn't been up to something naughty with the Captain, you wouldn't have had to check!" Provenza snorted.

"He's got a point, Lieutenant." Julio grinned at him from his place at the table, looking only slightly chastened by the glare his comment earned him from his superior officer.

Provenza leaned forwards conspiratorially. "Anything you'd care to share with the group, Flynn?"

"Yeah," Andy snapped. "You're an asshole, old man."

"That I may be, but at least I don't go around kissing my captain."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Andy retorted.

"Give it up, Flynn - you were seen," Provenza grinned slyly at him. Andy looked at Mike in a panic, which only increased when his friend nodded at him in confirmation. Oh crap. How could they have been sprung already?!

Andy huffed a little bit where he stood before regaining some semblance of equilibrium.

"If you want a ride home, we're leaving now," he snapped at his partner.

"Spoilsport," Mike grinned at him from his seat, watching Andy's embarrassment grow.

"Now, Louie!" Andy turned and stalked back outside, cursing his partner under his breath. Nothing could quite take away the giddy feeling that was underlying his anger, though. The feeling that was caused by being around her, by feeling her against him...by hearing her say 'I love you'. Andy smiled despite himself. No, nothing could take that away from him at all.

 

 


	2. Come Down Heavy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I would just like to say: Thank you so much to everyone for taking the time to read this little story and for all the kudos! I was so nervous posting this first fic so thank you all very much. Thanks also to those who have read the one-shot companion fic, ‘Have a Moment’. 
> 
> Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter - things slightly got away from me this fortnight, I promise I will try to be better!
> 
> We’re heading down a darker road in this chapter, so I hope you all will stick with me to find out where we’ll end up. Hold on tight: Jack’s back.
> 
> Warning for adult themes and domestic violence.

"Have you lost your mind?" 

Provenza twisted in the passenger seat so that he could look at Andy, whose eyes were still firmly focused on the road in front of the car. They were on their way back to Provenza's home and he had, inevitably, started probing for details of Sharon and Andy's parking lot antics as soon as he got into the car. Drink had made him belligerent - more so than usual - and Andy had found himself inadvertently admitting that something significant might have happened between them.

"What did you say to her? What on earth possessed you to say anything? It's okay to have a crush on the Captain, Flynn, but you don't have to tell her about it!" They were pulling in to Provenza's street now - much to Andy's relief. Provenza was flapping his arms around wildly as he ranted and Andy was more than a little worried that they would get into an accident.

"I don't have a crush on her," Andy said firmly as he parked the car and they both exited.

"Yeah, right," Provenza scoffed, fishing for his keys and unlocking the front door. Andy headed straight for the kitchen and set about making some coffee for them both, as he had done a thousand times on nights like these. "What would you call it then?"

Andy turned to face his friend. "Honestly?" Provenza nodded, smirking. "I'm in love with her." 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

 

It was gone midnight when Sharon finally arrived back at her condo. After locking and bolting the door - and then checking it again, just to be safe, a habit she had picked up after the events of a few weeks ago - she placed her things on the hall table, slipped off her heels and stood for a moment against the wall, enjoying the feeling of the cool floor against her aching feet. She closed her eyes, her mind wandering back over the events of the last hour or so. A smile played at her lips as her hand came to her mouth, her fingers lightly tracing the still tingling path that Andy’s lips had left on hers. 

Sharon was startled by the sound of footsteps padding along the corridor. She looked up just as Rusty appeared around the corner, an empty glass in his hand. 

“Hey, you’re back,” he smiled in greeting. He indicated the glass. “I got thirsty. How was your night?”

She smiled warmly back at him as she followed him into the kitchen. “It was lovely, thank you.”

Sharon leaned a hip against the counter and watched as her foster son filled a glass from the tap and drank heavily. He cast her a sidelong glance as he did so. Something about her seemed…different. _Good_ different, he decided, but most definitely different. He decided to try a little subtle probing. 

“So,” he started, trying his best to sound casual. “Was everyone there?”

“Hmm?” She had been drifting again, hadn't really heard his question.

“Was the whole team there tonight?” Rusty tried again.

“Oh, yes,” she smiled brightly. 

“Including Lieutenant Flynn?” To hell with subtle, Rusty thought. There was only one reason she was acting like this, and he figured he knew what it was.

Sharon arched an eyebrow at him and folded her arms across her chest. “ _Yes_.” She drew the word out in that way she did when she was about to go on the defensive. 

Rusty grinned at her response. This was new. “What happened?” he asked her directly.

“What do you mean?” she frowned.

He was still grinning. “Usually when I mention Flynn, I get the whole ‘ _We’re just good friends, Rusty_ ,’ speech,” he told her knowingly. “So…what’s different about tonight?”

Sharon sighed. Sometimes she forgot just how well this boy knew her now. She stood for a moment, not sure how to respond. Then she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking at the floor as she replied. “That situation may have…evolved…” she said carefully. Silence. She chanced a glance up at him over the top of her glasses. He was grinning like the proverbial cat that got the cream, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. Sharon had to work to stop her mouth falling open in shock. “Rusty…?”

“About time!” he finally said, practically cheering. 

She shook her head at him in wonder. Sometimes he really did surprise her - she had thought he would be mad, or at least wary. “You’re okay with this?” she asked hesitantly.

He took a step towards her and put a hand on her shoulder, as if he were the parent and she the teenager. “Sharon,” he said gently. “It’s been obvious for months that you guys like each other…I mean, like, _really_ like each other.” He smiled at her and she returned it, her cheeks reddening slightly. “Besides, it’s not like it’s someone new. I know Flynn. I like him. It’s fine, Sharon. And before you say anything, no, I won’t tell anyone. You deserve to be happy - if he does that then it’s fine by me.”

She touched a hand to his face lightly. “You’re really okay with this. Really?” Her eyes searched his face. She had to make sure. 

He rolled his eyes at her. “Really, Sharon. Really, really, _really_!” He turned away. “As long as I don’t have to see or hear anything that could scar me for life - I’m very sensitive, you know.” He ducked as Sharon picked up a towel from the counter and threw it at him. They grinned at each other then, both of them relaxed - both of them happy, for the first time in a very long while. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Provenza's face dropped instantly and his mouth fell open. "You're... _what_?!"

Andy just looked at him, amused by his reaction but knowing better than to show it just now. "I love her," he repeated slowly.

"Please," Provenza begged, "please tell me that you didn't actually _tell_ her that!"

"Of course I did!" Andy laughed, watching Provenza's face grow an ever-more interesting shade of red. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because she’ll have you into a sexual harassment seminar before you can blink!”

“No, she won’t.”

“What do you mean, she won’t? Why wouldn’t she? It’s classic Raydor M.O. Lull you into a false sense of security and then slap you with a disciplinary.”

Andy shook his head, still smiling. “She won’t, because if she did, she’d have to send herself, too.”

“Why, because she had a moment of weakness when you kissed her?” Provenza looked at his friend skeptically. “I’m sure she’ll come up with an excuse for that one.”

“No, because she said it too.”

Provenza looked at him as if he was speaking another language. “Said what?” he asked quietly, although he already knew what the answer would be.

“She told me she loves me,” Andy confirmed, a ridiculous grin covering his face that suddenly made Provenza want to punch him, just to get rid of it. “We’re together, Louie.”

Provenza sank onto the couch and let his head fall into his hands dramatically. “It’s finally happened,” he moaned, shaking his head from side to side. “You’ve both finally gone completely, stark-raving mad.”

Andy said nothing, simply chuckling as he poured two cups of strong coffee. He brought a cup over for Provenza and sat alongside him on the couch. “Well, if I have,” he said finally, “it’s the best feeling in the whole world.”

He laughed again as Provenza let out another anguished groan beside him. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon and Rusty were leaving the kitchen, ready to turn in for the night, when a scratching sound from the front door drew their attention. It sounded suspiciously like a key being turned in the lock. Sharon’s heart sank, knowing that it could only mean one thing. 

“What’s happening?” Rusty asked, wide eyed. 

“It’s okay, honey. I think it’s Jack. I changed the locks, remember?”

There was a bang on the door then, making them both jump.

“ _Dammit_!” The shout from the hallway told her instantly that not only was she right about their late night visitor, but also that he was steaming drunk. Her stomach twisted in an icy knot as he shouted again. “ _Sharon! Open this damn door! My damn key isn’t working. SHARON!_ ”

“Rusty, go to your room,” Sharon said quickly. Rusty stared at her. Her whole demeanour had changed in an instant. 

“Sharon, it’s not as if I’ve never seen Jack before…” he started.

“You’ve never seen him when he’s drinking,” Sharon cut him off, her eyes still on the front door. She turned to look at him, her hand on his arm. “Go to your room, close the door and stay there, no matter what.” Her eyes held a look he had only seen in them a couple of times before. Fear. He swallowed hard and nodded. “No matter what, Rusty. Understand?”

“ _SHARON!_ ”

“Go!” She gave him a shove towards the hallway as she moved across to the front door. Rusty gave her a last look before turning and entering his bedroom. 

Taking a deep breath, Sharon lifted her chin and unlocked the front door. Opening it, she was confronted with the dishevelled figure of her estranged husband.

“Jack.” She uttered his name in the tone she usually reserved for suspects in her interrogation room. If he noticed, however, he didn’t show it.

“Baby,” he slurred, his arms flung wide as he stumbled across her threshold. She reeled at the smell of alcohol that surrounded him. “I’m home!”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Rusty stood just inside his room. His heart was hammering in his chest as he strained to hear any of the conversation coming from the living area of the condo. He had pushed the door until it was almost closed, but not quite. He held on tightly to the frame, his head resting against the minuscule gap between the frame and the door. One hand dug around in his pocket until he felt his cell phone and he curled his fingers around it so tight that he could feel the cold metal leaving an imprint on his palm.

If Sharon was afraid, there was a reason for it. He didn’t want to leave her alone out there, but he didn’t know if his presence would make everything worse. For now, all he could do was listen and wait.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“Why are you here, Jack?” She stood with her back to the door, facing him, her arms folded rigidly across her chest. 

“Did you change the locks?” He peered at her through half-open eyes, ignoring her question.

“Yes. Now why are you here?” she asked again, more forcefully.

He ignored her again. “Why? Why would you do that? Why would you change the locks on me?” He took a couple of steps towards her before lurching slightly, propping himself up against the small table opposite the front door.

"I'm not having this conversation now, Jack," Sharon sighed and started to move further into the apartment. "You're drunk."

"I have to be, to be able to deal with you," he sneered at her as he turned himself around and followed her path. "And we are going to have this conversation if I have to stand here all fucking night!" He was shouting now, his face turning a deep shade of red, spittle flying from his lips as he jabbed his finger towards her face. “ _Tell me why you locked me OUT_!”

Sharon met his gaze calmly as she began to answer him. ”For the best part of two decades, I have played the part of a wife whose husband just happens to be away much of the time. I have kept up this ridiculous charade - the married woman who keeps her husbands clothes in the wardrobe, his personal effects in the bedside cabinet, as if we have a normal marriage. But we don't, Jack. We never did." 

He was silent, although she wasn’t convinced that he was taking any of this in. Her green eyes flashed with angry tears and she continued, because now that she had started she couldn’t seem to stop, needing to finally get this out whether he actually heard it or not. 

"Because the truth of it is, you walked out on our marriage years ago. I only see you every couple of years when you want money. Or _sex_." She spat the word at him, disgusted with the both of them, but mostly with herself for being so damn weak for so long. “Don’t think I don’t know that part of the reason you left last summer was because I wouldn’t give it up any more, Jack!” His eyes flashed but he still said nothing. “And I, like a fool, put up with it. Because a part of me still loved you. Still hoped that one day, we could make it work. That the Jack I married would be the one to walk through that door. But he never did." 

She stopped speaking and took a shuddering breath, waiting for a reaction. When none was forthcoming, she sighed deeply, turned away from him and began to head towards the bathroom. She needed to get ready for bed and she didn't have the energy to deal with Jack any more tonight. She half hoped he would take the hint and leave, but instead he followed her into the hallway.

"So why now? After all this time, why slam the door on me now?"

Sharon thought for a moment, before deciding to go with the honest answer. She turned and looked him in the eye, her steady gaze meeting his glassy stare.

"Rusty," she said simply. Jackson looked confused, clearly expecting something other than what she was actually saying, struggling to comprehend the words in his whisky-addled brain. "I saw you repeating the same patterns with him that you developed with our own children. I was honest with you, Jack." The tears were silently slipping down her cheeks now, the charged emotion of the evening's events threatening to take hold completely. She brushed them away angrily. "I told you what he went through, about his abandonment issues, about how easily he can be hurt. And still, you got close to him and then walked away without so much as a goodbye. I love him and you hurt him, just as you did with my other two. That’s when I knew it was over. That's when I knew I was done." She took a deep breath, finally admitting the truth to herself as much as to him. "I'm done, Jack."

She watched him as he processed this information, the look on his face slowly changing into something she had never seen before. He was furious. His eyes blazed with anger and hatred and something she couldn't quite place. He looked deranged, like a volcano ready to blow - and it was all directed at her. Sharon stood her ground, far too terrified of this man in front of her to do much else. She held his gaze firmly, her green eyes dark with fear, her mind whirling, trying desperately to find a way out of this without getting hurt. Because she was convinced now that all Jackson wanted to do in this moment was hurt her. 

This was bad. This was really, really bad.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Rusty almost staggered as he listened to the conversation taking place in the hallway right outside his room. 

Of course he knew that Sharon cared about him. That she loved him. She had told him so, and he believed her. Somehow, though, hearing her say it to someone else - hearing her defend him so thoroughly to a man she had once loved - made it hit home all the harder. 

His heart constricted painfully in his chest as he replayed her words in his head. He thought about the question Dr. Joe had posed just weeks ago and suddenly he knew he had his answer. 

A roar from the hallway snapped his head up and caused him to pull his phone from his pocket, all other thoughts swiftly disappearing from his mind.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

"You are still my fucking wife, bitch - and you will damn well start acting like it!" 

Before Sharon had time to react, he was on her. The overwhelming stench of stale whisky filled her nose as the full weight of him propelled her backwards. She barely registered the pain as Jackson slammed her back into the closed bathroom door, his hands already tearing at her clothes. 

She struggled, not seeing his fist until it was too late. Jackson punched her hard in the face, sending her reeling. Her head connected painfully with the door frame, cutting her face just above her right eye. Shaking, Sharon raised a hand to her lip, which had split and was bleeding profusely. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Rusty had his phone in his hand and was dialling when he heard the dull but unmistakeable thud of a person connecting with something solid. From the moan that followed, he knew that it was Sharon who had been hurt. Fear gripped his insides as the operator answered his call.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“Yeah, my name is Rusty Beck. My foster mother is Captain Sharon Raydor of the LAPD, Major Crimes.” He had backed away from the door and spoke quietly, praying that Jackson wouldn’t hear him. He spoke quickly but calmly, understanding the importance of getting the information across efficiently, even though inside he felt like screaming. He had learned a lot from Sharon in the years since his last 911 call though. He had the fleeting thought that she would be proud, and tears started to sting his eyes, blurring his vision. He swiped them away.

“What’s happening, Mr. Beck?” The deep male voice was gentle yet authoritative and obviously immediately on alert.

“Sharon…Captain Raydor…she’s under attack in our home. We need help, now, please!”

“Who’s attacking her?”

“Her husband…uh, estranged husband…they’ve been separated for years…” Rusty realised he was starting to ramble. “He’s hurting her, please, you need to come!” Rusty faltered as the operator checked their address with him, feeling helplessly like they were wasting time. “Please!” he begged again. 

“It’s okay, son, stay calm. I have units and an ambulance on the way. Do you know how badly she’s hurt?”

“No, I can’t see her! I can’t…”

“You’re doing great. Are you somewhere safe?”

“I’m in my room.”

“Good. Stay there.”

“But, Sharon…”

“Stay there, son, you hear me? We’ll be there really soon, I promise. Stay there and stay on the line with me, okay?”

“Okay,” Rusty managed to croak out past the tightening in his throat. He cradled the phone to his ear as he crouched down against the wall behind his bedroom door. He closed his eyes and almost chanted the word over and over. “Okay…okay…”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Searching desperately for any way out of this, Sharon started talking softly, saying anything she could think of to placate this monster that she had once loved but no longer recognised. It made no difference. He was already too far gone. One arm pinned her to the door by her throat as the other ripped her blouse open, then forcefully shoved her skirt up to her hips. She struggled against him but she was tiny compared to his hulking frame, her terror no match for his white-hot rage. His whole weight was pressing against her neck and she knew it would not be long before she passed out. Blind panic began to set in as, for a brief moment, she considered giving in. Giving him what he wanted so that he would just leave. 

Then she saw her chance. As Jackson fumbled drunkenly with his zipper, Sharon struck. She brought her knee to his crotch with as much force as she could. Pushing him off her as he yelled in rage and pain, Sharon bolted for the main hallway and her cell phone, still on the table by the front door where she had deposited it just minutes before. 

Already dialling 911, Sharon frantically reached for her purse, and her precious gun. As her fingertips touched the leather, Jackson was back on his feet and hurtling towards her once more. He ripped the phone from her grasp and flung it against the wall. Sharon heard it as it shattered into several pieces. Then he had her purse, and that too was thrown far from her reach.

Jackson grabbed Sharon by her hair and half-pulled, half-dragged her towards the kitchen.A string of incoherent curses left his mouth as he raged at her for daring to defy him. She twisted, desperately trying to get out of his grip. Before she could, his heavy arm was around her waist and he swung her in front of him, her body slamming into the kitchen counter. Winded, she bent at the waist, struggling for breath. 

She never saw him reach for the knife. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

The strangled cry that was wrought from Sharon’s throat as the blade entered her body echoed through the apartment. Rusty froze where he stood, his mouth dry and ice in his veins. For just a second, he remained where he was, lost in panic. 

All at once, his body came back to life. Instinct took over, even as his stomach lurched with an indescribable dread, the like of which he had never felt before. Unable to think of anything except the woman he had come to love as his mother, Rusty flung open his bedroom door and bolted in the direction from which the guttural sound had come.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Jackson had Sharon pinned against the kitchen counter with his left hand, as his right yanked the 6 inch blade from her abdomen. There was no pain. Sharon was vaguely aware of Jackson's red face next to hers, still yelling obscenities, although she could hear nothing beyond the rushing of blood in her ears. A part of her brain registered the warmth flooding the front of her body, even as the rest of her shivered with sudden cold. She realised she must be bleeding heavily and she tried to press a hand to her side, but her body no longer seemed to want to obey the commands of her brain. She felt herself becoming drowsy even as she tried to cling on to consciousness. One thought remained as Jackson grabbed her hair in his fist, pulling her head back and exposing her neck to the blood-soaked blade. 'Rusty. I couldn't protect Rusty.'

Jackson steadied himself, ready to inflict the final blow.

 


	3. A Thousand Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for adult themes and graphic imagery.

 

Rusty stood between the kitchen and the dining area, his entire body shaking uncontrollably, barely aware of the wail of sirens in the distance. Jackson was sprawled unconscious on the floor in front of him. The lamp that Rusty had used to hit him over the head - the same lamp he almost used in defence of Sharon last time Jackson showed up - was heavy in his hands. 

Almost in a trance, Rusty lowered his arms and dropped the lamp to the floor. His eyes left Jackson’s prone frame and scanned the room, where they came to rest upon Sharon. The sight of her jolted Rusty from his daze and he darted across to her where she lay, half upright, her back against the side of the kitchen unit. He skidded in the blood that was pooling around her motionless body, falling heavily to his knees at her side. The sirens were louder now. Relief flooded through Rusty as he thought that help must be almost there.

“Sharon?” 

He cupped her face in his hands, desperately seeking some sign of life. Her eyes were half open but they seemed to look right through him and he couldn’t make her focus. His eyes dropped to the wound on her abdomen which was still bleeding heavily, adding to the already large pool on the hardwood floor. He searched around for something to stem the flow, grabbing a towel from the counter and pressing it hard against her side. He had thought - hoped - that the action would provoke a response from her, but there was nothing but silence. 

Rusty focused on his hands holding the towel against her still-warm body, on the blood seeping slowly through the fabric and onto his fingers, staining them a deep red. It was the same towel, he realised with a start, that she had thrown at him in mock annoyance not even an hour ago. He pressed harder.

“Don’t die, Sharon. I love you. Please, please don’t die.”

He began to cry silently. 

And the sirens came ever closer.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Provenza was still lecturing Andy on the stupidity of his actions when they were interrupted by his cell phone ringing. Provenza checked the caller ID and scowled, rolling his eyes at Andy.

"Yes, Chief Taylor." Andy made a face as Provenza spoke to their commanding officer.What the hell was the guy doing calling at this hour on a weekend? “What? ... Where? ... When did this happen? ... Is she hurt? ..." Andy turned back to see the suddenly sober expression on his friend's face. "Do we have a suspect? ... _Who_? ... You've got to be kidding me ... Oh my God ... How bad? ... Chief! ... How bad is it? ..." 

Provenza was raising his voice now and Andy was starting to get worried. Whatever this was, it sounded pretty serious. He watched Provenza, concerned.

"Oh God ..." Provenza lowered his voice again as he put his head in his hand. "Is she ...I mean, she's not ... Tell me she's not dead, Chief …" The lieutenant closed his eyes at Taylor’s response and swallowed hard. “Where did they take her? ... Shit, Rusty! What about Rusty? Is he ... He didn't ... Oh, thank God ... Where is he now? ... Does he have someone with him? ..."

Andy's blood had run cold at the mention of Rusty's name. From what he could gather - and the look on Provenza's face - something had happened to Sharon. Something bad. He was on his feet and grabbing his keys even before Provenza had finished the call.

"Yes, Chief. I'll gather the team and we'll meet you at the condo."

Provenza hung up the call and looked at Andy, his face pale and sorrow in his eyes.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Amy Sykes walked across Sharon's living room - from where she had been talking to Assistant Chief Taylor and the uniformed officers, to join he and Andy, standing near the kitchen. Tao and Sanchez followed her while Buzz continued to film the scene. Taylor was allowing them to take the investigation for now, under his oversight and monitored by FID, as it seemed to be pretty cut and dried. The 911 call had caught much of the assault and the evidence and Rusty’s statement should give them the rest of the details. Provenza was grateful for small mercies. 

Andy’s eyes were transfixed by the large crimson pool covering the floor next to the counter. It looked just like any other crime scene, he thought vaguely. The home of any other victim. Except it wasn’t any other crime scene. It wasn’t any other victim. It was _her_. 

"What do we know?" Provenza asked Amy when she and the rest of the team reached the two lieutenants.

"Well," Amy started, her usually steady voice shaking slightly. What had happened to their captain had rocked all of them to the core. "Apparently the attack started down the hallway by the bathroom. Blood on the door frame and the door itself indicates that she was hit at least once there. Then, it looks like she ran for the front door..."

"She was trying to reach her cell or her gun," Andy's voice interrupted her narrative. "She always puts her things on the table there when she gets home." He still wasn't looking at her, unable to tear his eyes away from Sharon's blood, unable to block the horrific images of her broken body that it provoked in his mind. His lips were still tingling from the sweet kisses they had shared just hours before, his ears still full of her whispered confession: 'I love you'. This wasn't what was supposed to happen next. He felt sick.

The other detectives shared a look, but none of them questioned how Flynn knew the Captain's nightly routine. Now was not the time. Provenza glanced at his friend, concern etched on his face. He wasn’t at all sure that Flynn should be here - but he was also utterly convinced that nothing on Earth would make him leave. He sighed, before nodding at Amy to continue. 

"That fits," she nodded. "They found her cell, smashed, by the window. Her purse - with her gun still inside - was on the floor, too. Looks like he threw them out of her reach before..." Her voice trailed off and she looked at the floor, her eyes suddenly stinging. "He stabbed her here, by the kitchen counter. Jack Raydor was hit over the head by Rusty and lost consciousness there,” she pointed to where Jackson had been found. “He’s been taken - with a police escort - to hospital, as a precaution.” 

Provenza snorted in disgust. The notion of doing anything to help the bastard who had done this was beyond his comprehension at the moment. 

“The Captain fell where she was wounded,” Amy continued. “She was bleeding out on the floor when the paramedics found her, Rusty by her side, trying to stop the blood…” She tried to swallow past the lump forming in her throat. Provenza patted her arm gently and started to walk away from the group when Amy stopped him.

"Sir? There's more..." Provenza turned back to her and waited for her to continue. She glanced nervously in Flynn's direction.

"What is it, Sykes?" Provenza prompted, worry now the overriding emotion on his features. What more could there possibly be?

"From the state of her clothing when they found her, and from what Rusty said he heard, they need..." she swallowed hard. "Chief Taylor thinks..." she tried again, before releasing the words in a rush. “We'll need to do a rape kit," she finally managed to say. The group was silent. Provenza paled slightly.

Sanchez clenched his fists. "Because trying to kill her in front of her kid wasn't enough?" he muttered, his fury evident in every twitch of his features. 

An atmosphere of palpable anger had descended across the entire group. How dare he? How dare he do this to one of their own? How dare he do this to _her_?

"Flynn?" Provenza looked over at his friend, still standing in the same position he had been in since he got there. "Andy...?"

Suddenly Andy spun on his heels. A twisting feeling settled deep inside him, an icy hand wrenching at his insides. He was going to be sick. He turned from their little group and ran over to the kitchen, only just making it to the sink before he began violently retching. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

"I'm sorry, sir, but we can only give out patient information to the next of kin." The young nurse looked half apologetic and half scared out of her mind by the furious look on the lieutenant's face. 

Flynn and Provenza had gone straight to the hospital from Sharon's condo, while the others headed back to the office. It was now almost six in the morning and the team were already working the case. Flynn, however, was not interested in anything other than getting to Sharon. He needed to know what was happening with her, and this damn nurse was being nothing but obstructive.

"Now just you..." Andy started to yell at the young woman, until he felt Provenza's firm grip on his forearm. 

"Listen to me," the older lieutenant said firmly, not missing a beat. "The so-called husband is the crazy sonofabitch who just stuck a 6 inch kitchen knife into her gut. One of her kids is in the ER, traumatised, and her other two are out of state. So until we are able to contact her children, the LAPD _is_ her next of kin. Sharon Raydor is _our_ family and you will treat us accordingly. Do I make myself clear?”

The nurse nodded, wide-eyed. Just then, she was rescued by a voice off to their right.

“Lieutenants?” Both men turned to see another nurse, dark-haired this time, a serious expression on her attractive face.

Andy nodded sharply. 

“My name is Meghan Jones, I’m one of the senior nurses here. Chief Taylor called ahead and asked me to liaise directly with you, as Captain Raydor has no family in the immediate vicinity. Would you like to follow me?”

For the second time that day, Provenza found himself thankful to Russell Taylor. He grimaced. This better not become a habit. 

Meghan turned and started down a long corridor, stopping at a door a few feet away. Andy immediately ran to catch up to her, Provenza trotting along behind. 

“What’s happening?” Andy demanded as soon as they had stepped inside what turned out to be a small waiting area. 

Meghan closed the door behind her and turned to face them. “Please, take a seat.”

“Just tell me what’s happening! Where’s Sharon? _Where is she_?!” 

Andy was shouting again, but Meghan didn’t seem fazed by it. She kept her voice calm, her demeanour gentle - she actually reminded him a lot of Sharon, Provenza thought sadly. 

“She’s in surgery.” Meghan answered Andy’s question softly. “She lost a lot of blood at the scene. The paramedics had a hard time stabilising her for transport.”

Andy’s mind immediately took him back to the condo. To the blood on the floor, the sticky, metallic scent permeating the air. He suddenly realised that the nurse was still speaking.

“The knife didn’t penetrate all the way, but it still did a lot of damage. It took the surgical team quite a while to control the bleeding enough to even see what was going on in there…”

“But she’ll be okay.” Andy interrupted her. “They got to her in time, and now they’re fixing her, right? She’s going to be okay.” His eyes were defiantly staring at her face, as if daring her to disagree with him. 

Meghan touched Andy’s arm gently and met his gaze as she spoke next.

“They are doing absolutely everything that they can, I promise you that,” she said softly. “But…she’s badly hurt. She’s _really_ badly hurt…” Andy dropped his gaze and his face started to crumple with a sob. “Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Lieutenant?” Meghan asked slowly as she helped Provenza lower his stricken partner into a chair. He nodded as Provenza took a seat beside him. “I’ll come back as soon as I know anything else,” she promised as she stood to leave. 

“Thanks,” Provenza said with a nod. He waited until she had closed the door behind her before placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing it hard. “She’ll be okay,” he said quietly, with more confidence than he actually felt. “She’s Raydor. Of course she’ll be okay.”

Andy covered his face with his hands and cried.

 


	4. It's Been a Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: From here on out I will be using medical terms as they are needed for the story. I will attempt to be as accurate as possible with any necessary medical terminology and procedures. My knowledge is based on my nursing training from a few years back in a British A&E (ER) and cardiac unit. Apologies in advance for any unwitting errors.
> 
> This story will most probably not be finished in time for June 9th. Primarily because we STILL don’t even have an air date for Season 3 yet, and I’m writing to stave off my withdrawal symptoms! So ignore anything that happens in S3 and just remember that this story is set beforehand!

Andy’s head jerked up at the sound of a knock on the door to the waiting room. He got to his feet, expecting to see the nurse entering. His dark eyes widened in recognition and surprise when a familiar figure stuck her head around the door, before pushing it open and entering the room. 

“Nicole?” His voice was choked and he felt tears pricking behind his eyes again.

“Dad!” She walked quickly over to him and flung her arms around his neck. Andy wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry, Dad,” Nicole said as she pulled back and looked at him sadly. “Is there any news?”

“Nothing since I called you,” Provenza answered her question from his seat, shaking his head.

Andy turned to his friend. “ _You_ called her?” His eyes shone with gratitude. Provenza just nodded. 

“He thought I should know,” Nicole added.

“Nic, you didn’t have to rush down here…” Andy turned back to face his daughter, so thankful for both her and his partner in that moment. 

Nicole placed a hand on his arm gently. “I wanted to,” she said softly. “You’re my Dad.” Andy gave her a watery smile as he held her in his arms again. 

“Thank you,” he whispered softly. They held each other for a moment, Andy taking comfort from his daughter’s unexpected yet welcome presence.

“Dad, listen,” Nicole pulled back and moved towards a seat, Andy in tow. “I was wondering…what will happen to Rusty now? I mean, presumably he can’t go home…”

Andy looked at Provenza, who nodded sadly. “He’s still a minor,” he said, looking at Nicole. “Besides which, the condo is still a crime scene.” He paused, considering the question. “I guess for now he’ll stay with me, or maybe with Mike Tao, depending on who is going to be around.” 

“He’ll probably spend a lot of his time at the office,” Andy added. “Why, Nic?”

“It’s just, I was wondering…” she faltered, trying to decide the best way to voice her thoughts. “Do you think he would consider staying with me?” she asked finally.

The two lieutenants looked at each other, surprise evident on each of their faces. 

“With you?” Andy repeated, confusion evident on his face.

“Yes,” Nicole nodded emphatically. “Look,” she started, shifting in her seat a little as she started to explain her thinking. “He’s a kid who just went through something awful. His only real family is Sharon, and with her in here he’s going to spend the next little while bouncing around between various houses and a police department.” She held her hand up when Andy tried to speak. “I know he doesn’t know me and that could be an issue,” she added quickly. “If we ask him and he says no, that’s completely fine. I would never force anything on him. I just…I just want to do something to help. I really like Sharon,” she finished quietly. 

Andy offered her a small smile. “What about…”

“It’s fine, we discussed it this morning,” Nicole interrupted her father’s question. He raised an eyebrow. “Really, Dad. We have the room and he would be more than welcome. Being with a stable family might be just what he needs. From what you and Sharon have said about him, Rusty is a good kid. He just needs a break right now. I’d like to give him that - if he’ll let me.”

Andy looked at his daughter in astonishment. He had never been so proud of her as at this moment. “We’ll ask him,” he promised, pulling her into another warm embrace.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

It was almost three in the afternoon when the nurse, Meghan, entered the room. Behind her, moving slowly and looking at the floor, was Rusty. 

“He’s been discharged from the ER,” Meghan said, by way of explanation. “I told the detective who was with him - Sykes, is it?” Provenza nodded. “Right. I told her that I’d bring him straight up here. Captain Raydor is out of surgery and being settled in ITU.” Andy breathed a sigh of relief at the news. He wasn’t sure he could have sat there for much longer without finding someone to yell at for information. “I’ll take you and Rusty to see her in a few minutes,” Meghan finished, speaking directly to Andy.

“Thanks,” Andy nodded at Meghan, who turned and quietly left the room. 

Rusty continued to stand awkwardly by the door. Andy’s heart clenched when he got a proper look at the boy. His face was pale, his eyes sunken and red from crying. His hands were shoved in his trouser pockets. It was his clothes that drew Andy’s attention more than anything else, though. They were covered in blood. Sharon’s blood. Andy turned to Provenza and the two exchanged a look. Provenza nodded and took out his cellphone, texting Mike to ask him to pick up some of Rusty’s clothes and other essentials from the condo. 

Andy stretched his legs and raised himself out of his chair, making his way slowly over to where Rusty stood. “Hey, kid,” he said in a soft voice. Rusty wouldn’t look at him.

"It's my fault.” Rusty’s voice was so quiet that Andy wasn't sure he had heard him right. He realised that he had when the boy continued to speak. “I should have gone out there sooner. I should have stopped him before he could hurt her.”

“Rusty, no, you did the right thing…”

"Now she's going to die, and it's all my fault!” His voice was getting louder now and the tears had started up again, although he hardly seemed to notice. 

“Rusty…” Andy tried again, but it was useless. 

Rusty’s head jerked up to look at Andy, his eyes full of pain and self-loathing.

"No! You didn't see her! There was blood everywhere…so much blood…I slipped in it when I was trying to get to her. And her eyes...her eyes were open, but she wasn't there. She wasn't there, Flynn!”

Andy stepped forwards and caught Rusty as he collapsed, sobbing. The boy clung to him as they sank to the floor and Andy held him firmly, a hand reassuringly at the back of his neck as Rusty clung to the lieutenant’s shirt desperately.

“I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay, Rusty…it’s not your fault…everything’s gonna be okay…”

Andy would have given anything to make Rusty believe him. 

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

A couple of hours later Andy found himself alone in Sharon's hospital room, her hand clasped in his, the only sound the beeping of several monitors surrounding her bed. She was hooked up to an inordinate number of IV lines: replacing fluids; pain relief; sedation and yet another blood transfusion among them. They were keeping her unconscious for the time being - ‘ _to give her body time to heal_ ’, Meghan had said. He flinched every time he caught sight of the angry bruise above her eye or the cut on her lip. There were fingerprint bruises at her neck and on her arms, too. His trigger finger was itching, his overwhelming need to stay by her side the only thing keeping his desire to blow Jack’s head off in check.

Rusty had left maybe a half hour before - with Nicole, thankfully - after Andy had promised several times to call immediately with any news. Andy was pleased that Rusty had agreed to go with Nicole, although he realised it was probably only to keep everyone else happy. Still, Andy hoped that maybe it would help him to realise that nobody was blaming him for what had happened. Mike Tao had brought a bag for Rusty containing clothing, toiletries, his laptop and chess board. Rusty had half-smiled in thanks at Mike's thoughtfulness, until his eyes were drawn back to Sharon and his face contorted once more with grief and guilt. Andy's heart went out to the poor kid, but he just didn't know what to say to make it better. He sighed, and held tighter to Sharon's hand.

He was still sitting in the same position when Provenza entered the room a little while later. Andy looked up at the sound of the door opening and nodded in greeting at his partner. The older lieutenant placed a cup of coffee and a tired-looking sandwich on the side table and dumped a bag at Andy's feet. 

"Hospital coffee," Provenza said with a grimace. "Best I could do." Andy shrugged and lifted the cup to his lips, taking a long gulp. He made a face at the weak blend. Sharon would hate it, he thought sadly. He gave the sandwich a cursory inspection but decided against it. He honestly wasn't sure he could keep any food down, his insides were still so tied up in knots - and especially not something that looked like it had expired sometime last month. 

His friend gestured to the bag in front of Andy. "Change of clothes. You've been in those since yesterday morning. If you smell this bad when she wakes up, she'll dump you on the spot." 

Andy rolled his eyes. “I thought that’s what you’d want,” he said gruffly, taking another gulp of the dishwater that was masquerading as coffee.

Provenza pulled a chair over from the other side of the room and sat next to Andy. “Yes, well,” he huffed. “I still think the two of you are idiots,” he grouched back. “But when did either of you ever listen to my opinion? I’ve long since learned to just go along with things that are out of my control and pick up the pieces afterwards.”

Andy rolled his eyes again, but a small smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. 

“Listen, Flynn.” Provenza turned in his chair to better face his partner. ”I just spoke to one of the nurses. They have the results of the rape kit.” Andy felt his chest constrict painfully with dread, and he unconsciously tightened his grip on Sharon’s hand a fraction. “It was negative,” Provenza said quickly, not wanting to drag out his partner’s discomfort. “No biological evidence, and no evidence of trauma.” Andy released the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes in relief. Provenza continued: "That, along with the apparently significant bruising to Jack's groin, indicates that she managed to fight him off. She put up quite a struggle, Andy.” He reached over and patted Andy’s arm. “She got him good.”

“Of course she did.” Andy gazed at Sharon’s face and squeezed her hand lightly. 

“There’s one other thing,” Provenza added. Andy looked at him expectantly. “We still can’t seem to contact her kids…”

“Shit!” Andy suddenly remembered a conversation he had with Sharon on Friday morning. Yesterday, he reminded himself… Was it really only yesterday? It felt like forever ago now…

“Flynn…?” Provenza prompted.

“Right, yeah, sorry. Uh, her daughter is on tour with the ABT - somewhere in Eastern Europe, I think she said. Ricky was going to fly out there with her - spend some time together, see the sights, that kind of thing…I’m not sure how easy it’ll be to contact them.” He looked at Sharon sadly, knowing how much her children would want to be here with her right now. 

Provenza nodded. “I’ll get Tao on it first thing,” he promised. “We’ll get them here.”

Suddenly, one of the monitors let out a high-pitched shrieking sound. Andy leapt out of his chair, ice coiling around his insides once again. 

"What's happening?" 

There was a flurry of activity at the door as medical personnel came running into the room. The nurse from before - Meghan - was pushing a crash cart in front of her and giving orders to the other nurses. Seconds later, Sharon's doctor also entered.

"She's coding." Meghan didn't look up as she spoke, focused on fixing the defibrillator pads to Sharon's chest. 

"Clear the room," Dr. Murphy said as he hurried towards the bed.

Meghan spoke again as one of the other nurses commenced CPR. "Sir, you need to leave." She turned to Andy when he made no move to do so. Meghan touched his arm gently. "Lieutenant." He tore his eyes away from Sharon and met her gaze, his brown eyes unfocused and full of fear. "You need to let us do our jobs. We can't look after you and take care of her at the same time. Please."

Slowly, Andy nodded. He allowed Provenza to guide him out of the room, which immediately erupted into controlled chaos behind them.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

The team were preparing to leave for the day. It was still afternoon, but it was a Saturday and they had gone as far as they could with the investigation for now. Rusty had given his statement to Amy when he was still in the ER. All of the evidence had been sorted and sent to wherever it needed to go for analysis. Buzz had helped to clean up the 911 call and the team had recoiled as they heard the attack for themselves. It was probably a good thing that their perpetrator was still in the hospital, Amy thought, judging from the look on Julio’s face as he listened. Jackson himself would be brought in and interviewed in the morning, as soon as he was discharged from hospital. 

They finished packing up in silence, the Murder Room having been unnaturally quiet all day with the absence of their three senior detectives.

As they started to say their goodnights, they were interrupted by the beeping of Mike Tao's cell phone. He picked it up and his blood ran cold at the two-word message from Provenza.

' _Cardiac arrest_ '

"Oh my God." Mike dropped the phone onto his desk and sank heavily into his chair, his stunned expression immediately setting the rest of the team on edge.

Buzz looked up from shutting off his computer. "What is it, Lieutenant?"

Mike pushed the phone away from him, unable to say the words aloud, and his three colleagues gathered around to read Provenza's message.

Julio was the first to speak: "I'll drive."


	5. Leave of Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’ve posted two more companion pieces to this work, to create a little trilogy based off of mentions in Chapter 1 of this fic. They are ‘To See Your Face’ which is all about our favourite pair’s trip to the ballet and ‘It’s Okay to Break’, which deals with the aftermath of 2.18 (Return to Sender). And in case you missed it, the first one is ‘Have a Moment’, which is all about the wedding. These can all be read as stand-alones, or in order if you want to read them as a trilogy. It really is up to you, just as long as you read them! Pretty please…? :D
> 
> Now though, let’s check in on Sharon…

Andy didn't know how long he watched from outside Sharon's room as the medics fought to save her life. It felt like forever. He stood helpless, head pressed to the glass, Provenza's firm grip on his shoulder possibly the only thing keeping him upright. He watched as they shocked her again and again, her tiny body jerking, the single tone from the monitor seeming to mock their abject failure to restart her heart.

There was nothing he could do but watch as the woman he loved with his very soul lay dying in front of him.

Then he saw it. The doctor checked for a pulse once more and shook his head. He looked at Meghan, seeking agreement, before he glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall opposite Sharon's bed. They were calling it.

" _NO_!" 

The roar coming from his partner startled even Provenza. He made a grab for Andy, but he couldn't have held him back for anything. Andy burst into Sharon's room, Provenza following close behind him, and grabbed the doctor by the shoulders. "No!" He said again. They were giving up. He couldn't let that happen. No way could he let them give up on her. "You have to keep going."

"Sir, it's been twenty minutes," the doctor started.

"NO!" Andy took a deep breath and tried desperately to control his anger. If ever there was a time that he needed to get his point across calmly, this was it. All at once, Andy could have sworn he felt her touch on his arm. The lightest of squeezes and then a gentle pat against his bicep. He knew it was impossible, he had to be imagining it, but still… He felt the anger dissipate, replaced with that sense of calm that only _she_ could give him. With a great effort, he let go of the doctor, but held his gaze steady. " _Please_ ," he begged. "She's not ready to go. She's a fighter. She just needs a chance. Give her a chance. Please."

The doctor hesitated, torn between following protocol and the utter desperation of this man before him. He made up his mind quickly. Nodding to Meghan, he gave the order.

"We'll go one more round of CPR. Start compressions please, nurse."

Meghan nodded and immediately resumed manually trying to get Sharon's heart to beat. At the same time, Provenza noticed movement outside the window. He looked up to see the rest of her team standing there, in silent solidarity with their captain. How they had got here so fast he didn't like to think, but he had never been so grateful to see them. Whichever way this went, he was going to need their help in dealing with his partner, who would likely either explode or collapse. Provenza’s eyes searched Tao's face, trying to gauge what he thought their captain's chances were. He knew Mike had medical training. If he thought all was lost, she was in real trouble. Mike caught his eye and shook his head a fraction, confirming what Provenza had already known, deep down. 

Andy turned to Sharon and crouched beside her, taking her hand in both of his and holding it tight. With everything in him, he willed her to live.

As the others watched silently, Andy started speaking softly. 

"Sharon, I know you can hear me. I need you to fight, sweetheart. I know you're tired. I know. But you can't give up, not now. You're needed here. Your kids need you. Rusty needs you." The tears were streaming down his face now but he didn’t even notice. He choked the last words out on a sob: " _I_ need you, Sharon. I can't lose you, not now...I only just found you… Please, sweetheart. Please don't leave me. I love you. God, I love you _so_ much."

"Stand back, please. Ready to shock." 

The doctor's voice broke the relative silence. Andy stood upright and staggered back to stand next to Provenza. This was it. He knew that her body couldn't take any more after this, she was too damaged. It had to work. It was her last chance. He leaned against the wall to keep from falling and did something he hadn't felt the need to do in years: He prayed. Hard. 

"Stand clear - shocking."

Sharon's body jerked once again. The monitor fell silent, reacting to the effort to force her heart back into a rhythm. The silence felt like an eternity. Andy's ears were still ringing from the constant beep where she had flatlined for so long. 

"Come on, sweetheart," he muttered under his breath. "Come on, I know you can do this. I _know_ you can!"

Suddenly, the monitor sprang back into life - with a steady rhythm. The constant tone was gone, replaced with a staccato beep that screamed that Sharon was alive. The doctor quickly checked her vitals - which were miraculously now stable - then turned to Andy and smiled, cautiously optimistic.

"We got her."

The breath left Andy's body in a rush of relief, taking with it the very last of his energy. He sank to his knees on the floor, leaning back on his haunches and running his hands over his face and through his hair. He closed his eyes and allowed his head to rest against the wall. Suddenly everything seemed unreal. The voices around him faded out until all he could hear was the precious beeping of that damn machine.

Provenza looked over at the team outside. Amy was wide-eyed and looked like she might burst into tears at any second - for which he really didn't blame her. He almost felt the same way himself. Buzz looked quite faint with relief, while Mike had closed his eyes and hung his head, gathering himself. Even Julio looked shellshocked. All of them were acutely aware of how close a call this really was. Provenza slowly lowered himself next to his partner, cursing his aged knees as he did so. 

"Flynn." He reached over and gripped the slightly younger lieutenant's arm firmly. He got no response and he leaned closer, concerned. “ _Andy_!” 

Andy forced himself back to reality, opening his eyes to find Provenza's concerned face hovering inches from his own.

"Jesus, Louie, don't _do_ that!"

"The nurse would like to speak with you, if it's not too much trouble," Provenza bit back, although he squeezed Andy's arm in support, belying the feigned normality of irritation. Andy manoeuvred himself into a slightly less uncomfortable sitting position on the cold floor, his arms resting on his knees, before his eyes moved from Provenza to Meghan, who was kneeling in front of him, smiling kindly.

"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" she asked gently.

Andy nodded, slowly. "I think so,” he said thickly. “I'm just a bit..." He faltered, struggling for words.

"Shocked," Meghan finished for him. He looked at the floor between his legs and nodded weakly, trying not to cry. "Of course you are. Nobody should have to watch that happen to someone they...care about," she finished carefully. "It's okay, Lieutenant.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"So, what now?" Andy hardly dared to ask the question. 

"Well, she's stabilised, which is great," Meghan started encouragingly.

"But..." Andy pushed. He had to know what they were facing, even if he didn't want to hear it.

"She's not out of the woods," the nurse admitted. "The next twenty-four hours or so will be critical."

"And if this happens again?"

Meghan sighed and suddenly seemed to find the floor tiles rather interesting. She always hated this question, no matter how many times she heard it.

"She won't make it." Andy answered his own question. His eyes filled with tears again and he choked out a sob. Provenza felt a lump in his own throat. It was crazy, he thought. In two years he had gone from hating this woman, to not being able to imagine the Murder Room without her. How the hell did that happen?

"Let's just take it one step at a time," Meghan said. She looked into the lieutenant's brown eyes and was moved by the raw pain she saw there. "She's alive and her heartbeat is good and strong. Now we need to give her body time to recover. I'm not going to lie to you, Lieutenant. She's still very sick." Andy nodded and swallowed hard. "We need to work on lowering the sedation next. She has a hard road ahead of her." She squeezed his hand briefly. "But she has a good chance now."

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

While the nurses buzzed around Sharon, and Flynn took his now-customary place in the chair at her bedside, Provenza quietly left the room to join the rest of the team outside. The shock and anxiety that they were all feeling still permeated the air around them. Julio had placed a hand gently on Amy’s arm, the look on his face caught somewhere between concern for her, fear for his captain, and the near-permanent rage that had taken root in all of them since this whole thing started, less than twenty-four hours earlier.

Nobody had slept in almost double that, having worked a long day Friday and then been called to the condo Friday night.

Provenza looked around at the team, trying to decide what their next steps should be. Eventually, he settled on a course of action. 

“Go home, get some sleep, enjoy what’s left of your weekends,” he said firmly. “Tomorrow, I’ll have Jack Raydor picked up and taken straight to County, where he can stew until we’re ready to interview him on Monday morning.”

Julio looked surprised. “Sir, we don’t mind coming in tomorrow.”

Provenza smiled slightly at the younger detective, although it came off more as a grimace. 

“We won’t have any lab results back until Monday,” he reasoned. “Lawyers are notoriously difficult to get hold of on a Sunday, and we won’t be able to get our _suspect_ ,” he said the word disdainfully, “in front of a judge until Monday, anyway. If we get anything new in the meantime, I’ll let you know, but otherwise we’re at a standstill. So take tomorrow. Get your heads together. Do whatever you need to do to process the events of the last few hours - and then come in to work on Monday morning ready to take this bastard down.”

The rest of them nodded, reluctantly. As much as they wanted to get on with things, they knew that the older lieutenant was right.

Provenza turned to head back into Sharon’s room, before stopping abruptly.

“One more thing.” Four faces looked at him expectantly. “I don’t want anyone communicating with Flynn about anything to do with the case.”

“But, Sir…” Amy looked puzzled. “He’s part of the team.”

“And in case you hadn’t noticed, Sykes, he’s also emotionally involved with the victim.” 

“I still don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you want him to be updated on the case?”

Provenza sighed. Why did he always have to spell out the obvious?

"Because my main concern right now is stopping Flynn from going down to Jack's hospital room and shooting him in the head. Hearing the gruesome details is not going to help with that.”

“Oh.” Amy swallowed hard and nodded. “Okay.”

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

Sunday came around without further incident, although Andy had spent a restless night mostly holding Sharon’s hand and watching her closely, terrified that her heart would stop beating once more. 

The medics began to lower her sedation early that morning. They had warned him that it could take some time for there to be any sign of improvement, but Andy was still disappointed when there was no change in her condition at all. He just wanted her to wake up. He needed to have her back with him. He needed to be able to hold her in his arms and keep her safe. Damn it all, he just _needed_ her. 

Rusty came to visit around mid-morning, and Andy had to admit that he was pleased to see the boy. The hours spent away from here seemed to have done him some good and while still tired and shaken, he at least appeared somewhat rested. The deathly pallor of his skin had retreated somewhat and his eyes had a little of their spark back. He still wore a heartbreaking expression of guilt though. 

The look of relief on the boy’s face when he saw Sharon made Andy’s heart hurt. He had called Nicole last night to tell her what had happened and she had texted him later with updates on Rusty. The poor kid had been desperate to come straight to the hospital, alternating between frustration and despair when he was told to wait. 

Eventually, Andy had spoken to Rusty himself, promising him that if he thought Rusty needed to be there he would have Nicole bring him in right away. He had finally persuaded the boy that getting a good night’s sleep and visiting the next day would be more beneficial to everyone - although he knew that Rusty hadn't been convinced. At least he hadn’t thrown a tantrum, Andy thought. That would have been just about more than he could deal with right now. The fact that he hadn’t was testament to the time he had spent living with and learning from Sharon, he realised with a sad smile.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

Andy stood outside the hospital entrance and breathed deeply, revelling in the feel of the fresh air on his skin. He and Nicole had left Rusty sitting by Sharon’s bedside, reading to her softly from a well-thumbed book of Shakespeare plays that Mike had brought to the hospital from the condo. Andy was grateful for the opportunity to get outside, as well as to spend a few hours with his daughter. A large part of him felt guilty though, feeling that he should be up there with her, not down here in the sunshine. 

“Dad? You okay?” Nicole’s face was a picture of concern. He looked awful and she was becoming genuinely worried for him.

“Yeah.” Andy nodded and tried a smile, which was rather unconvincing. He gazed up at the building distractedly.

“You should go home, get some sleep.”

“I’m not gonna do that, Nic.”

She touched his arm gently. “Dad…”

“I’m not going home! We’ll go get some lunch and then I’m going back up.” He turned and started to walk in the direction of a small diner across the street. 

Nicole sighed, frustrated. She caught up with him at the diner entrance and followed him inside in silence. Once they were seated and browsing the menu, she tried again.

“She won’t thank you if you make yourself ill, you know.”

“Nic…” His tone carried a warning and she knew him well enough to know that it was time to stop pushing. That didn’t mean that it was time to give up, however. 

Excusing herself to use the bathroom, Nicole left the table. Once out of her father’s line of vision, she pulled out her cellphone and dialled Louie Provenza.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

Provenza walked slowly along the hospital corridor until he reached the Captain's room. He paused for a moment to look through the glass, taking in the now-familiar sight of Andy in the chair next to her bed, his fingers laced with hers and his head resting on the bed at an obviously uncomfortable angle. 

The lieutenant sighed - Nicole was right. At some point, he was going to have to do something about this. If Andy didn't get some proper rest soon he was likely to end up in a hospital bed himself. At some point, Provenza promised himself. But not yet.

He shifted the bag of fresh clothes on his shoulder and gripped the paper bag full of deli food under his arm, trying not to spill the fresh cup of coffee all over himself as he did so. He pushed open the door to Sharon’s room with his free hand and prepared his best sarcastic greeting as he went inside to sit with his friend.


	6. Make it Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’re leaving Sharon and Andy for a bit and heading to the Murder Room, where you are getting two DDA’s for the price of one! Yes, everyone’s favourite (and least favourite) attorneys are in the building! 
> 
> I know, I know, I spoil you. You can thank me later!

 

 

The clicking of stiletto heels announced the imminent insertion of a prosecutor into Provenza’s Monday morning. He looked up from his crossword puzzle, surprised to see not one, but two DDA’s marching into the Murder Room. 

“Hobbs. Rios. To what do we owe the honour of two such distinguished attorneys visiting our humble abode?”

Emma Rios cocked her head to the side as she studied the Lieutenant, unsure whether he was mocking them or not. Andrea Hobbs quirked a smile at him in greeting. 

“Emma is your prosecutor on this one, Lieutenant Provenza,” she began to explain.

“Of _course_ she is,” Provenza muttered, throwing his newspaper onto his desk with a thud. 

“I’m just here for backup,” Andrea continued without missing a beat. “We weren’t sure you’d like Emma’s… _approach_ …to this one.”

Provenza narrowed his eyes and studied the two women, as the rest of the team looked up from their desks, intrigued by the direction the conversation was taking. This could mean nothing good.

“Please,” Provenza said in a dangerously low voice. “Tell me you are not about to offer Jackson Raydor a _deal_.”

Andrea took a deep breath as Emma lifted her chin defiantly.

“That is exactly what I am about to do, Lieutenant,” she confirmed.  
“ _What_?” Julio was on his feet, indignation written across his features. “Why would you do that? We have all the evidence we need to put the guy away for what will probably be the rest of his life!”

Emma turned to face the younger detective. “Which is exactly why I’m offering him a deal, Detective _Sanchez_.” She stressed his last name carefully, ever mindful of getting it right this time. “He’s not going to plead guilty to a charge of first-degree attempted murder if he knows he’s never getting out of prison. That means going to trial.”  
“So you’re afraid of trial all of a sudden?” Provenza scoffed. “I thought you just loved strutting around that courtroom like you owned the place!”

Emma threw an exasperated look in Andrea’s direction. The blonde smiled at her encouragingly, nodding for her to continue her explanation.

“If we go to trial,” she explained patiently, her voice clipped, “then _Rusty_ will be our star witness. He’s the only one who was present for the whole thing from beginning to end.” She paused and looked around the room, gratified to see understanding slowly dawning on the faces of the detectives around her. She couldn’t help the sarcasm that coloured her next words. “I would have thought that _you people_ would want to spare him having to go through another trial at all costs.”

The room was silent as they each processed what she was saying. Annoyingly, she was right, Provenza realised, although he wasn’t sure her motives were entirely altruistic. He did wonder if it had less to do with protecting the boy, and more to do with Emma just not wanting to have to deal with him again. Still, there was no denying that Rusty could not cope with another trial - he’d only just got his life back. There was also no way the Captain would want him to have to go through all that again. 

“So, Rios,” Provenza said slowly, meeting Emma’s gaze. “What’s the deal?”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

While Emma disappeared to fill Taylor in on the proposed plan, Andrea pulled up a chair next to Provenza’s desk. He eyed her suspiciously from behind his newspaper, but relaxed when she began to speak.

“How’s Sharon?” Her face was filled with genuine concern. “I was away this weekend, I didn’t hear what happened until this morning,” she continued, the emotion in her voice plain to him. 

He put his newspaper down on the desk again and sighed.

“She’s…doing okay,” he said slowly. He thought for a moment. “I spoke to Flynn this morning. She’s been moving slightly, making sounds, but she hasn’t woken up yet and the doctors are… _concerned_ …” He smiled sympathetically as Andrea nodded and swallowed.

“Flynn is at the hospital with her?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Provenza made a noncommittal noise in his throat and nodded carefully.

“I’m friends with Sharon, Lieutenant,” Andrea said in a low voice. “I’m well aware that the two of them are… _close_.”

Provenza caught her eye and looked skyward for a moment, causing the blonde to laugh softly.

“He hasn’t left the hospital since she was admitted,” Provenza told her.

Andrea’s eyes went wide at that. “Really? How’s that gone over with Taylor?”

“Actually, there hasn’t been a problem.” The lieutenant grinned, chuckling at the look of incredulity that spread across her features. 

It was true, actually. Taylor had not mentioned Andy’s absence from work, except to ask Provenza to inform Lieutenant Flynn that he would be putting it through as leave owed, and not to worry about it. 

Whether the man had sensed what was going on between his two subordinate officers, Provenza wasn’t sure - it was possible, of course, that he simply believed that they were close friends. The lieutenant also couldn’t tell if Taylor was planning to use this as leverage for a favour in the future, or if he was simply being kind. The skeptic in him assumed the former, but he had to admit that Taylor had surprised him greatly over the last few days.

It didn’t matter right now, anyway. All he cared about - all any of them cared about - was getting Sharon well and back among them…and getting that bastard husband of hers locked up.

As if on cue, Emma Rios reappeared next to his desk.

“Okay, Lieutenant. Let’s do this.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“Good morning, Mr. Raydor. My name is Emma Rios, I’m with the District Attorney’s office.”

Emma and Provenza entered the interview room together with an air of determination. They may not like each other much - or at all, Provenza grumbled silently - but this morning, they had a common goal: Put Jackson Raydor in jail, where he belonged.

“I remember you,” Jackson replied, looking her up and down appreciatively. Provenza scowled at him but Emma didn’t flinch. “You’re that irritating little DDA that my wife hates so much,” he finished with a smirk and a leer.

Emma and Provenza both ignored the remark and took their seats, the DDA setting out a legal pad and some documents in front of her.

“Are you sure you don’t wish to consult with an attorney before we begin?” she asked, keeping her eyes down and her tone neutral.

“I _am_ an attorney.”

Emma looked up from her legal pad and nodded curtly.

“Fine.” She folded her hands together on the table and stared him directly in the eye. “I’m prepared to offer you a deal.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes at her. “Go on.”

“Second-degree attempted murder. You’ll serve five to ten years.”

Jackson sat back in his chair and openly laughed at her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s domestic violence at best! _And_ it’s a first offence.”

“It is _not_ domestic violence, Mr. Raydor.” Emma’s voice dropped an octave dangerously. “You are not domiciled at the Captain’s residence, and the two of you have been legally separated for two decades. No jury is going to buy domestic violence.”

“Okay,” Jack’s laughter subsided but he still wore a cocky grin. He leaned across the table towards the young DDA. “Assault with a deadly weapon, then. I’ll be out in three.”

Provenza snorted in disbelief.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“Is this guy for real?” Buzz shook his head incredulously at the screen in front of him. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Russell Taylor replied from where he stood behind Buzz. He knew Jackson of old - mostly by reputation - and this little display didn’t surprise him one bit.

“He’ll be claiming self-defence, next,” Julio muttered, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. 

“He wouldn’t dare!” Amy looked around at the rest of them, her expression one of horror when Mike lifted an eyebrow at her. “ _Would_ he?”

“Don’t tempt fate,” interjected Andrea, from the seat beside Buzz. Her eyes hadn’t moved from the conversation taking place on the screen. “After the stunts he’s pulled on Sharon over the years, I honestly wouldn’t put anything past this guy.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“The offer is second-degree attempted murder. Five to ten,” Emma reiterated, calmly.

“You’re crazy.”

“Otherwise we go to trial on first-degree attempted murder and I will be seeking a minimum fifteen year sentence.”

“Good luck with that,” Jackson scoffed. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back in his seat again. “You can’t prove first-degree. There was no _intent_. I didn’t bring a weapon into the apartment with me, the knife was there already. A weapon of opportunity.”

“So you say. However, once a jury hears the 911 call and the evidence from Captain Raydor and her foster son, and sees the extent of Captain Raydor’s injuries, I don’t like your chances of an acquittal. You had been in the condo recently. You knew where to lay your hands on a weapon. And most importantly, you continued the attack after you had already incapacitated the Captain with a near-fatal stab wound. Believe me, intent won’t be a hard sell.”

Jackson thought about this for a moment. He tried to maintain an air of nonchalance, but he had visibly deflated as she spoke.

Provenza had sat silent for most of the exchange, allowing Emma to take the lead. Now, however, he could hold his tongue no longer.

“Do you realise how close you came to being charged with murder?” he growled at the man in front of him. “She nearly bled out right there on the floor. She nearly died in surgery. And when she went into cardiac arrest on Saturday night, it took them almost thirty minutes to get her back.” Jackson’s face had gone white as Provenza spoke. “She still hasn't woken up. It could still go either way. So don’t you _DARE_ sit there smirking and telling me how little time you’re going to do. If I had my way, you’d die behind bars! Believe me, this offer is a _GIFT_!” 

Provenza was on his feet now, leaning across the table and shouting. Jackson shrank back into his chair. He at least had the decency to look remorseful, Provenza noted.

Unfortunately, that only lasted as long as it took Provenza to retake his seat. Once the imminent threat was gone, Jackson leaned forward again. The smirk was back in place, although his eyes betrayed his shock at what he had just been told.

Provenza was breathing heavily, looking as if he might just bypass the deal-making process altogether and shoot Jackson himself. Emma touched his arm in support as she stood and faced Jackson.

“This deal will remain on the table for the next hour.” Her no-nonsense stance was a glaring indicator that negotiations were over. “After that, I will be seeking the maximum penalty on a charge of first-degree attempted murder. Are we clear, Mr. Raydor?"

"Crystal," Jack snarled.

"Good." 

Provenza stood and held the interview room door open for Emma as she gathered her things and strutted out. He was about to leave himself, when suddenly he turned back to face Jackson. 

“Hey, Jack.” The lawyer lifted his head arrogantly in response. “Take the deal. Prove to your kids that you’re capable of doing the right thing, for once in your miserable life.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

"Do you think he'll take the deal?" Amy anxiously asked the rest of the team, assembled in Electronics.

"He'd be a fool not to," Mike reasoned. "And Jackson Raydor is no fool."

"He's a vindictive sonofabitch though," Provenza said, entering the room at the same time as Taylor left. "I wouldn't put it past him to take it to trial, just to spite her."

Mike nodded, thoughtfully.

"But surely his sense of self-preservation will kick in," Amy said. "He's looking at serious jail time if he doesn't take it."

"He's looking at something much worse than more _jail_ if he doesn't take it," Julio muttered darkly. He didn't elaborate, but he didn't need to. The rest of the team got his meaning loud and clear. He was like a coiled snake, ready to strike, his fury at the man on the screen in front of them pouring off him in waves. 

They all understood, of course. They all felt the same. The troubles of the past were long behind them. For many months now, the Captain had held their respect, their loyalty and even their friendship. They were all wounded by what had happened to her - and each one of them wouldn't need much of an excuse at all to deal with Jackson Raydor. Permanently.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon was trying to remember something - it was important, she knew - but the fog of morphine clouding her brain just wouldn't allow the thought to take hold. Until it did. Suddenly, her eyes flew open. 

"Rusty!" 

In her mind she was screaming, but the name was a mere whisper as it left her lips. 

Andy was immediately alert. "Sharon? Sharon, it's okay, you're okay." He stood and gently placed a hand on her head, stroking her hair while his other hand took hers and squeezed it softly. "It's okay sweetheart, everything is gonna be just fine," he soothed. 

"Andy," she breathed, her eyes falling closed again. She forced them open, struggling to focus on his face, on his voice. "Where's Rusty?" 

"He's fine, please don't worry." Quickly, he pushed the call button beside her bed. Almost instantly, Meghan's head appeared round the door.

"Everything ok, Lieutenant?" she asked.

Andy grinned at her. "She's awake!" 

 


	7. Can I Have a Moment, Just to Say Hello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Firstly, can I please just say how exceedingly JEALOUS I am of everyone who finally gets to watch Season 3 tonight?! All we have been told so far regarding an air date is ‘sometime in the Autumn’. AUTUMN. SERIOUSLY?? So please, people, while you are settling down with our favourite characters, spare a thought for little old me, crying quietly into my large tub of ice cream, won’t you? You will, won’t you?!
> 
> Okay, okay, on with the show…it’s a bit of a longer one this time, I think I must be on a roll!

 

After several long minutes spent checking Sharon’s vitals, orienting her to her surroundings and helping her to freshen up a little, Meghan called Andy back into the room from where he had been waiting in the corridor outside, his foot tapping against the tile nervously. Dr. Murphy smiled encouragingly at him as he entered.

“Don’t look so worried, Lieutenant,” he said kindly. “Everything is looking really good.”

Andy smiled slightly, but he couldn’t shift the nagging anxiety that sat in the pit of his stomach.

“Why was she out for so long, Doc?” he asked quietly, as Meghan leaned over the bed to adjust Sharon’s pillows.

“Honestly, we don’t know,” the doctor replied. “Maybe she just needed the sleep.” Andy rolled his eyes and the doctor sighed. “I _can_ tell you that I’m really pleased with her progress now. She’s coherent, her physiological and neurological responses are normal and she’s managing to keep small amounts of fluids down. These are all excellent signs. I’m confident of a full recovery - _in time_ ,” he qualified.

Andy searched Dr. Murphy’s face for any signs that he was holding something back. When he was satisfied that he was indeed getting the whole truth from the physician, he nodded and turned to face the bed again, throwing a muttered “Thanks, Doc,” over his shoulder as Murphy left the room.

Sharon was sitting up in bed, looking tired and bruised but remarkably like her old self, considering everything. She was down to just the one IV now, administering fluids and antibiotics, as well as the occasional shot of pain relief from a pump beside the bed. He immediately took his place at her side, his relief at her finally being conscious written all over his face.

Sharon shifted in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. The movement caused her to yelp in pain and the colour drained from her face alarmingly.

"I'm alright," she said, before either Andy or Meghan could make a move to help her. "I can do this by myself.” Her voice sounded hoarse from lack of use, but the determined inflection it held was all Sharon.

Meghan smiled at Andy while Sharon slowly sat herself more upright, hissing with pain at every movement. Andy winced watching her, longing to help. 

"Stubborn one, isn't she?" Meghan chuckled.

Andy looked at her, an eyebrow quirked. "You have no idea," he deadpanned.

"And my ears are working just fine, too," Sharon grumbled. "So don't even _think_ about ganging up on me." She glared at Andy as she rested back against the pillows, but he caught the tiny sparkle of humour in her gaze. “Lieutenant Flynn."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Get over here." 

Andy stood and stepped forward to the side of the bed. Placing his hands carefully on either side of her body, he leaned down to her. 

"Yes, Captain?" he repeated, joy dancing in his eyes for the first time in days. 

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, closing the gap between their faces. He understood what she wanted immediately - it was something he had been craving ever since Friday night. It felt like months ago now. Gently, he brushed her lips with his own, mindful of the still-healing cut to her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and pressed her mouth to his firmly. His hand moved to the back of her head, under her hair and he caressed her neck, causing her to hum softly. God, he had missed that sound. He pulled back and found himself staring into her emerald gaze, still slightly unfocused because of the narcotics she was prescribed for the pain.

"Hey," he said softly, his hand moving to stroke her face.

"Hey yourself."

"I missed you."

She smiled and hummed at him. He kissed the tip of her nose and then the top of her head before moving away to sit back in the chair. He scooted it as close as he could to the bed and immediately found her hand with his.

"Okay, so I’m just going to leave you two to it!" Meghan grinned at them from the foot of the bed. "If you need anything at all Captain, just press the button, okay?" she said seriously. Sharon nodded obediently. Seemingly satisfied, the nurse tucked Sharon's charts away and quietly left the room.

"So," Sharon continued once Meghan had gone. "Rusty?" 

"Is fine, Sharon," Andy grinned. "He's okay, he's spending the afternoon with Provenza." She looked at him skeptically. "He's _fine_ , Sharon, I promise. He’s…uh…he's actually been staying with Nicole." Sharon's face registered her confusion. "She thought he'd do better in a family home, rather than being shuttled back and forth between team members and the office," he elaborated. "He's getting on great with the boys. I don't think they'll be wanting to let him leave!" 

Sharon's eyes were suddenly bright with unshed tears.

"That is incredibly kind of her," she murmured.

Andy held her hand, his thumb absently drawing circles at her wrist. "She's a good girl. She wanted to help," he explained. "She likes you."

Sharon smiled and lifted her hand to stroke his face tenderly. "I like her." He held her hand to his cheek and nuzzled her palm, revelling in the feeling of her warmth on his skin. 

"She has a good heart," Andy smiled proudly.

"She gets it from her father." Sharon's thumb caressed the side of his face. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm and the inside of her wrist. She studied his face closely. He looked exhausted and she wondered when he last slept properly. Knowing Andy, not since she had been brought in here. She would have to try to get him to go home soon - though, selfishly, she really didn't want him to. "Is Rusty really doing okay?" She asked, concerned. Andy nodded reassuringly.  

"He saved your life." He smiled sadly down at her and she screwed her face up, struggling to remember. "He hit Jack over the head with a lamp, just as Jack..." Andy hesitated. He didn't want to be the one to tell her what had happened, if she couldn't yet remember. He didn't want to be the one to break her heart.

Sharon looked up at him, her eyes as pale a green as he had ever seen them.

"Jack was about to slit my throat," she finished sadly. "I remember." Her beautiful face was a mask of sorrow, her eyes filling with tears. Andy felt the lump in his own throat as he tried not to break down himself. She needed him to be strong now, but his heart ached for her.He held her hand in both of his, his fingers entwined tightly with hers. She looked away, towards the window. ”How could I ever have loved him?" she whispered, more to herself than to him. "How could I ever have allowed my children to have a father who could do _this_?"

"Hey," he said firmly. "This is not on you. It's on him and his inability to be a halfway decent human being.”

She was silent for a moment, her hand clinging to his almost painfully as she fought to regain control of her emotions. Finally, she turned back to him, her eyes finding his. His whole being ached at the pain he saw there.

"Andy."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Could you please pass me the morphine button?" Her face was pale again and she looked drawn. Andy knew she must be in immense pain to ask for the morphine - she wasn’t a fan of taking meds of any kind. He also knew that she wasn't convinced by what he’d said about her and Jack - one thing Sharon was great at was taking responsibility, even when it wasn't hers to take. He decided against pushing the issue now, though. She was hurting too much. He complied with her request and she pushed the button immediately. He watched as her face relaxed and her eyes became clouded.

"Get some sleep," he urged gently. "I'll be here when you wake up." She blinked slowly in acknowledgement - too tired to argue and longing for his presence too much to try to make him leave. She held her hand out for his again and drifted off to the soothing patterns his thumb had once again taken to drawing on her skin.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Andy must have fallen asleep too, although he hadn't intended to, because he woke with a start to the sound of whimpering. His eyes snapped open when he identified the source of the noise as the woman on the bed in front of him.

Sharon had rolled onto her injured side facing him, pressed up against the rail at the side of the bed. Her face was pale and damp with sweat and the sounds leaving her mouth chilled him. She was obviously in the middle of a nightmare. 

As he rose from his chair, she started thrashing about, the whimpers turning into cries of panic. He quickly negotiated his way around the bed to her other side and lowered the rail on the far side of the bed, knowing he had to calm her, terrified that she would tear her stitches and end up back in surgery. Laying himself carefully down next to her, he gathered her in his arms.

She turned into him immediately, cries of pain mixing in with the anguished noises she was already making as she moved. He cradled her gently, one arm holding her against him as he softly stroked her hair with his other hand.

They lay like that for a long while, the soothing sounds Andy was making interspersed with Sharon’s sobs. She was awake now, he knew. She had been almost since he had first touched her. She clung to him, his shirt clutched tightly in her fist, her face buried between his neck and his shoulder - just as she had a few short weeks ago, on the night Rusty left her. Now, just as then, her breath was hot on his skin, her tears dampening his shirt as he held her. Her cries had changed from the terrified screams of someone trapped in a nightmare to the heartbreaking sobs of someone who had woken, only to find that their nightmare was all too real. 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon was asleep, still curled tightly in Andy’s arms, when Provenza entered the room later that afternoon, accompanied by a nervous-looking Rusty.

Rusty’s stomach flipped at the sight of her looking so tiny, so fragile. Thanks to the constant reassurances of everyone around him, he was finally starting to believe that what happened to Sharon wasn’t his fault - but he would still have given anything to change the outcome. To do just _one_ thing differently so that she wasn’t lying there looking so…so _broken_.

“Hey, kid,” Andy greeted him softly.

“Hi,” Rusty choked back, unable to tear his eyes away from Sharon.

“It’s okay,” Andy said softly. “She’s doing good. She’s just tired.”

“ _She_ can speak for herself.” The soft voice coming from somewhere near his chest made Andy chuckle.

“See?” he told Rusty. “She’s just fine.”

Andy moved his arm from underneath Sharon and gently lifted himself off the bed. He leaned down, helping her to adjust her position. This time, she didn’t fight the assistance. She moaned as he lifted her slightly so that she was more upright, the pillows propped at her back a welcome presence. She felt dizzy every time she moved - whether from pain or medication she wasn’t sure - and she sank back into their soft support gratefully.

“Do you need any more meds?” he asked her softly, his eyes fixed on her face.

She shook her head in response. “No, not now. I’m alright. I want to stay awake for a while.” She smiled a little as she inclined her head a fraction towards Rusty. 

Andy understood her reluctance, her need to be with the boy, although her expression did little to hide the discomfort that she was in.

“Okay,” he nodded. “But if it gets too much…”

“I’ll use the pump.” She smiled at his disbelieving expression and touched his face tenderly. “I promise.”

“Okay.” He leaned in to her and kissed her sweetly on her mouth, only pulling away whenhe felt Sharon smile at Rusty and Provenza huffing in the background.

Andy stood and moved away from the bed, pulling a chair up and indicating to Rusty that he should sit. 

“I’m going to head home - shower, change, eat,” he said to Provenza. The older lieutenant nodded. “I’ll stop by the condo, too - pick up some things that you’ll need,” he told Sharon. 

“Could you bring me something to change into?” she asked him immediately. “ _This -_ ” she pulled disdainfully at her hospital gown. “- is _awful_.”

He moved to the opposite side of the bed from Rusty and leaned in to steal another quick kiss from her -hearing but ignoring Rusty’s exaggerated groan.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It’s totally not your colour, babe.”

Sharon scowled at him while Rusty tried unsuccessfully to suppress a snort of laughter.

“It _itches_ ,” she clarified, in her sternest tone.

Andy just smiled his lopsided smile. “I will get you something else to wear,” he promised. “Any preference?”

She shook her head. “Just something loose - I don’t want to disturb the dressing,” she requested, gingerly indicating her abdomen.

“Okay. I’ll be back in a while.” She lifted her head, humming softly as he gave her a final kiss. Waving at Rusty, he left the room, beckoning Provenza to join him in the corridor for a moment.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“Did you tell her about the deal?” Provenza asked, as soon as they were out of earshot.

“No,” Andy responded. “She didn’t have a great afternoon - and then she fell asleep. I was wondering if maybe…”

“Oh, _sure_ ,” Provenza grumbled, “leave it to _me_. It’s not like I had to spend all morning dealing with Jack Raydor and Rios or anything!” He scowled at his partner. “And that ridiculous grin of yours might work on the Captain, but it doesn’t work on me.” He sighed, continuing to grouch before Andy even had to say another word. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks, Louie,” Andy said, genuinely grateful. He honestly hadn’t been sure how to approach that conversation with Sharon. It might be better coming from Provenza - he wasn’t so close to the situation, and he _was_ her second in command.

“So,” Provenza said, changing tack. “You’ll be gone for a few hours?”

“Yeah, I have a few things to do…” Andy faltered and Provenza threw him a suspicious look. “Uh…also…I was thinking that I might…” Andy scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I think I should hit a meeting…” he finished, looking down at his shoes.

Provenza studied his friend with eyes full of compassion and understanding. There was no judgement, not from him. What Andy had been through the last few days would cause anyone to struggle. 

“I think that’s probably a really good idea,” he said softly. “And you’re going to go home and get a few hours’ sleep, too. _Proper_ sleep,” he added, before Andy could protest. “You need it, Flynn. You look exhausted.”

He _felt_ exhausted, Andy realised. He cast a longing look through the glass into Sharon’s room - he didn’t want to leave her for that long. He didn’t want to leave her _at all_ , but some things were more necessary than others.

As if reading Andy’s mind, Provenza spoke again.

“We’ll stay until you get back, Andy. The kid needs to spend some quality time with her and I have a crossword puzzle to finish.” He waggled his newspaper under Andy’s nose to emphasise his point. Provenza could see that his friend was still unsure. He laid a hand on Andy’s arm gently. “You’re no good to her if you collapse, Andy. We won’t leave her on her own. I promise.”

Andy met his eyes and nodded, defeatedly, his desperate need for sleep finally winning out. With one last glance at the woman he loved, he turned and made his way slowly along the hospital corridor, heading for home.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

A few hours later, Rusty was starting to make noises about being hungry. He and Provenza decided that he would head across to the diner and pick up some take-out. Nicole had enthused about the place after she and Andy went there yesterday - to the extent that Sharon even agreed to Rusty picking up a small salad for her. She wasn’t hungry at all, but the doctors wanted her to try to eat, and a salad would give her something to pick at, if nothing else.

As Rusty was leaving, Provenza suddenly realised that he had forgotten to order coleslaw - which was apparently vital to his enjoyment of his burger and fries.

“Rusty! Wait!” he called out, causing the boy to stop abruptly in the corridor. He turned around and huffed exasperatedly at the lieutenant.

“Lieutenant Provenza,” Sharon called him back as he was about to follow Rusty out of the door. “May I borrow your phone, please?”

Provenza frowned slightly, but fished his cellphone out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her without argument.

“No long-distance calls. I’m on a fixed payment plan,” he growled, wagging his finger at her.

Sharon looked at the ceiling and smiled. “Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“I’ll wait outside,” he nodded. 

Sharon hesitated until the door had closed behind him and she could see him talking to Rusty, before quickly dialling a number that she knew by heart.

A familiar voice answered on the second ring and she smiled softly to herself.

“Honey, it’s me,” she said quietly, shifting slightly to face away from the window into the corridor, where Provenza now stood alone. “It’s alright,” she soothed at the anxiety she could almost feel radiating through the call. “I’m alright, I promise. Listen, honey, I need you to do me a favour…” 


	8. You'll Be Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It’s finally here! Apologies for the huge delay in posting this chapter, especially when I had been getting so good at speedy updates! 
> 
> There are 2 reasons for the delay. The first and most important is that my little boy ended up in hospital (he has some disabilities and this happens occasionally, but he's much better now), which was obviously decidedly Not Good News.
> 
> The second is that Raydor and Flynn (the ones that are STILL camping in my head. Don't these people have LIVES?!) suddenly decided that they knew how they wanted this story to end. So, they have dictated the final chapter already, which is decidedly Much Better News! However, I now have a completed final chapter with no idea how to get them to that point from where we are now! It is worth waiting for though, I promise ;)
> 
> Ah well, such is the life of a writer...

Andy could see that Sharon was struggling as soon as he entered her room that Monday night. She was sitting up in bed, listening to Rusty talk animatedly about an upcoming chess tournament that he wanted to take part in. She was visibly distracted however, shifting in the bed every few seconds, the stoic mask she wore unable to completely hide the telltale signs of the pain she was in.

On the table by the bed was a salad from the diner across the street - untouched, as far as Andy could tell. He was disappointed, but not surprised, that she hadn't eaten.

She was shaking slightly as he watched her and her breathing had become rapid and shallow. Quickly, he moved to the side of the bed, interrupting the conversation as he leaned down to her. He kissed the side of her head gently, noticing that she was clammy. 

"Sharon." His voice was low but firm and she turned her head to look at him immediately. As he had known they would, her eyes betrayed her pain. "Have you had any pain relief?"

She lowered her gaze and shook her head slightly. 

"No, I..."

"You promised." He held out the button for the morphine pump.

"I know, but..." she tried again.

"Sharon." His expression was kind but exasperated and she finally acquiesced, taking the button with trembling fingers. The effect of the narcotic was almost instant. Her features visibly relaxed and the tension in her body dissipated, leaving her lying, spent, against the pillows. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her slightly unfocused gaze searching Andy's face. “They just make me so damn _tired_ …I just wanted to stay awake...to spend some time with him..."

"Sweetheart, I know." Andy's voice was gentle as he stroked her face with his thumb. "But you won't get better unless you _allow_ yourself to heal."

“I know…” She nodded, her eyes filled with tears of frustration, as he leaned down and placed the softest of kisses against her lips. Her hand cupped his face as she held him there and kissed him back, her eyes slipping closed for a moment.

Rusty's eyes had widened as he heard the tremor in her voice and he looked at Andy guiltily.

"She said she was okay," he said hurriedly when the two of them had parted. "If I'd known, I would have, like, _made_ her take it..."

"I know, it's okay, kid." Andy looked at Rusty and smiled reassuringly. "It's not your fault she’s so stubborn.”

Rusty smiled back at him, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The boy’s gaze was quickly drawn back to Sharon as she let out a whimper, shifting against the pillows, seeking out a comfortable position.

“Hey,” Andy said softly, reaching out for her. “Before you get settled, I brought you something to change into. Unless you want to wait, get some sleep first.”

She met his gaze and shook her head a fraction.

“I’d rather change now, if that’s okay,” she said quietly. “It might help…be more comfortable, anyway…”

Andy nodded and looked to Rusty, who was already out of his chair. 

“I’ll go find Lieutenant Provenza,” the boy said quickly.

“Where is he, anyway?” Andy asked, only now realising that his partner was absent.

“Uh, he said something about the cafeteria…and coffee…and lots of young nurses on their breaks…” Rusty shrugged helplessly as Andy rolled his eyes.

“Sounds about right.”

“Honey.” Sharon called to him so softly that Rusty had to move beside the bed to hear her. “You don’t have to leave.”

He leaned down to her, hesitating only briefly before taking her hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Sharon. Really. You need to rest now. I’ll come back and say goodbye once I’ve rescued the nurses from the Lieutenant, okay?”

She returned the smile he gave her and gave his hand a small squeeze of her own.

“Okay,” she nodded. 

Rusty stood and left the room, giving Andy the chance to study Sharon as he unpacked the bag he had brought with him from the condo. He could see that the pain relief was working - she had more colour than even a few minutes before, her breathing had slowed and the shaking had stopped. He felt himself relax slightly, only now realising the panic that had gripped him since the moment he had stepped into the room and seen her looking like that. 

He suddenly realised that her eyes were fixed on him quizzically. He had momentarily stopped what he was doing, lost in thought - and she, of course, had noticed. Typical Sharon. Even in this state, nothing got past her. He smiled at her, shaking his head a little, and resumed the task at hand. Sharon threw him a grateful look when he placed her glasses upon the nightstand. Then, he pulled out the garment he had brought to replace the despised hospital gown and she laughed. She actually laughed. It was a beautiful, light, joyful sound that wrapped itself around his heart, making it leap in his chest. He grinned at her in response, before making his way over to her and sitting on the side of the bed, leaning in to kiss her tenderly. 

Andy held his hands out to her and helped her into a sitting position. She let out a soft moan as she moved, immediately stroking his cheek with her fingers, reassuring him wordlessly that she would be okay in a moment. When she let him know she was ready, he slowly helped her out of the gown, negotiating her IV for her and discarding the item on a chair, before repeating the process in reverse with her new attire.

When she leaned back against the pillows, Sharon was wearing one of Andy’s t-shirts. Theworn material was wonderfully soft against her skin, the shirt roomy enough not to rub against her wound, and it smelled deliciously of its owner - the main selling point, in Sharon’s opinion. 

It was the shirt he wore when he came to her condo after Rusty went to stay with Provenza. It was the one that he had removed in order to give her the contact she had craved that night. It was the one that _she_ wore when she woke in the early hours, suddenly hungry, leaving his side in the bedroom in search of food.

Laying here now, her eyes sparkled with amusement and affection as she watched him watching her, knowing that his mind had also returned to that night, just a few short weeks ago. She reached for his hand, linking their fingers together tightly.

“What made you bring this?” she asked finally, unable to suppress her smile. 

“Well…” He leaned in until his face was just a fraction away from hers and he dropped a kiss onto her lips. “You seemed to like it the last time you wore it.” She hummed and nodded, her thumb stroking the skin of his wrist. “Besides,” he added playfully. “It looks so much better on you than on me.” She smiled and hummed again. Andy captured her mouth in another kiss, longer this time, his hand cradling her neck as his thumb stroked her face gently.

They were interrupted by the sound of voices outside, followed by the door opening and Rusty entering the room, followed by Provenza’s perpetually grumpy tones. Andy whirled on his partner accusingly as soon as he was inside. 

"Why didn't you make her take her meds?”

Provenza just sighed and looked at Andy as if he was an idiot.

"Have you _met_ her?"

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as Rusty and Provenza had left. Andy sat for a while on the bed with her, stroking her hair softly, his entire being calmed just by being able to touch her again. When he was sure she was settled comfortably, he stood and reached for the newspaper he had brought with him, quickly separating the sports pages and discarding the rest.

He sank into the chair beside her bed, pulling it closer so that he was within touching distance of her, just in case she needed him. As he stared at the pages of the paper in front of him, his mind wandered. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day for all of them, he knew. He and Provenza had discussed it briefly with Sharon before his partner left, the three of them coming to a decision together as to how the day would be handled. Tomorrow, Rusty would stay with Sharon while he and Provenza joined the rest of their team at the courthouse. Tomorrow, Jackson Raydor would plead guilty to attempting to murder his wife. 

A part of him had been quietly terrified that she would push him away in the aftermath of all this. Something like this could easily either bring them closer together or pull them apart completely. Andy knew that her defences were likely to be pushed back up, but he had not been prepared to allow that. Not now. Not after coming so close to losing her forever. In the event, he hadn’t had to worry. Instead of pushing him away, she had surprised him by pulling him closer. Every time he looked at her, he saw love shining in her eyes. Whatever else might be happening around them in the days ahead, he had seen the truth of her feelings today - and beyond that, nothing else really mattered to him at all.

Andy sighed and gave up on the paper, folding it and dumping it on the table beside him. He suddenly felt Sharon studying him as he shifted in the chair, ready to settle down for a nap. He lifted his gaze and found himself staring into the piercing green eyes he adored. 

He quirked an eyebrow at her. 

"Yes?"

"You can't sleep there." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she watched him drowsily.

"Sure I can," he grinned. "My back is used to it now."

"I don't want you to."

"You don't, huh?" She shook her head. Andy leaned forwards in his chair, his hand resting on the bed, until his face was close enough to hers that he could feel her breath on his skin. "Well, I'm not leaving, so unless you'd rather I sleep on the floor..."

She blinked slowly at him, her hand moving slightly until she found his fingers with her own and stroked them gently.

"I don't want you to sleep on the floor," she said softly.

"Okay," he frowned. "So..."

"Andy."

"Yes?"

“Just… _Get up here_."

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Jackson Raydor stood shaking in front of the judge that Tuesday morning, feeling as if he were in a dream. He could feel the eyes of Sharon’s entire team burning uncomfortably into his back, making him squirm under their relentless glare. The judge had been throwing him icy glances as the case and subsequent deal was outlined by DDA Rios, and Jackson squinted at the letters on the judge’s nameplate as he waited to be addressed. Judge Grove. That name seemed almost familiar. He had a feeling that the man was an acquaintance of Sharon’s and he rolled his eyes at the realisation. Of course, that woman knew practically everyone of influence in this town. He was bound to come up on the wrong side of someone eventually. Jackson snapped back to reality as the judge began to speak.

“This man attempted to murder a highly decorated captain of the LAPD, Ms. Rios. And, according to the evidence, there was also an attempted sexual assault, for which he has not even been charged.”

“That is correct, Your Honor.” 

Emma spoke in measured tones, her voice betraying none of the anxiety she was suddenly feeling. She’d had a deal go south with Judge Grove before, and she prayed that this one would not head in the same direction.

The judge dropped the papers he had been holding on to the bench in front of him and leaned forwards, his hands clasped together. 

“So, I have to ask,” his voice lowered slightly and Emma swallowed hard. “ _Why_ this deal?”

The young DDA stood taller as she prepared to answer him.

“After discussion with Major Crimes detectives, as well as with DDA Hobbs and Assistant Chief Taylor, it was felt that this deal would best serve the interests of all parties involved in this case.” Grove frowned at her, waiting for her to continue. “Your Honor,” Emma pressed on, trying to ignore the intimidation she felt from him. “We felt… _I_ felt - “ She decided in that moment that, as it had been her idea, she might as well own it. If it went wrong, so be it. She would just have to try to find another way around the situation. “ - that a deal which was acceptable to everyone would be more helpful to the victim - and the _witnesses_ \- in moving forwards, than a lengthy trial.” 

She met Judge Grove’s gaze, willing him to understand exactly what it was that she wasn’t saying. She was aware that he knew Sharon, and obviously he knew of Rusty’s history, having presided over the Stroh preliminary hearing. She could only hope that he would realise the subtext, without her having to spell it out in front of Jackson.

“And what _about_ the victim?” he asked her. “How does Captain Raydor feel about this deal?”

Emma looked to Provenza, gesturing for him to join her at the front of the courtroom. 

“Lieutenant Provenza spoke to her yesterday afternoon, Your Honor,” she said quickly.

Judge Grove turned to the lieutenant, indicating that he should answer the question.

“Captain Raydor agrees that this deal is the best way to proceed, under the circumstances,” Provenza confirmed, carefully avoiding Jackson’s gaze. The attorney was watching him intently, apparently captivated by news of his wife.

“And how is Captain Raydor?” Grove asked softly.

“As well as can be expected,” Provenza answered, not wanting to give too much information in front of Jackson. “She regained consciousness yesterday morning. She still has a long way to go.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Grove nodded and Provenza took that as his dismissal. He exchanged a pointed look with Emma as he made his way to the back of the room once more.

Judge Grove paused for a moment, reflective, before turning his attention to the defendant.

“Mr. Raydor.” Jackson looked up at him and nodded. Grove sighed. “You are prepared to plead guilty to second-degree attempted murder, with a sentence of five to ten years?”

“That’s correct, Your Honor,” Jackson responded gruffly.

“And you are acting as your own counsel?”

“Also correct, Your Honor.”

Grove sighed again and looked once more through the paperwork. 

“Fine. I’m prepared to accept this deal.” 

Emma puffed out the breath she had been holding, relief flooding through her. She sank into her chair as the judge wrapped up the hearing, glancing over her shoulder at the detectives assembled at the back of the courtroom. They had been joined by Taylor, Dr. Morales and Andrea Hobbs, who gave Emma an encouraging smile as she caught her eye. Emma returned the gesture and stood, preparing to leave the courtroom. She was surprised when Judge Grove spoke again.

“Ms. Rios?”

“Yes, Your Honor?”

“Would you approach the bench, please. I would like to speak with you for a moment.”

Emma looked quickly back towards Andrea, who shrugged her shoulders slightly and looked baffled in response.

“Yes, Your Honor,” she replied eventually, setting her bag back down and heading slowly towards the judge.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

The courtroom was filled with quiet chatter now that the hearing was over. Jackson Raydor was being prepared by two prison officers for his journey to the jail that would be his home for at least the next five years. 

Emma stood awkwardly in front of Judge Grove as he finished signing off on the deal paperwork, her mind racing, wondering why on Earth he had called her back. Was she in trouble? Had she mishandled something? Spoken out of turn? She didn’t think so, but she knew she sometimes had a propensity to speak first and think afterwards, even if she would never admit that to anyone else. It was something she had been trying to work on, particularly since her dealings with Major Crimes and their Captain.

The Judge wrote his signature for the last time and pushed the papers aside, turning his full attention on the young DDA in front of him. His demeanour gave nothing away as he studied her for a moment, before finally speaking.

“Ms. Rios.” He looked her directly in the eye. “Would I be correct in my assumption that the deal with Mr. Raydor was primarily struck in order to avoid the need for Rusty Beck to testify at trial?”

Emma was taken aback by the question, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times before she found her voice.

“Yes, Your Honor,” she said carefully, a slight frown creasing her attractive features.

Judge Grove nodded thoughtfully, before allowing the briefest of smiles to cross his face. He stood and turned to leave, before stopping and facing her again, slightly amused by theusually so together DDA’s utter confusion.

“Nice work, Emma.”

Whatever she had expected, it was _not_ that. She stared after him incredulously as he left the courtroom, before a wide grin spread across her face. Shaking her head slightly, she gathered her belongings and went to join the others.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

If Jackson Raydor had thought appearing in front of the judge was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to his exit from the courtroom. 

Sharon’s team had lined his route, and he would have to run the gauntlet of them in order to leave. Jackson swallowed hard, his hands twisting nervously in front of him, causing the metal of the handcuffs encircling his wrists to chafe his skin. Beads of sweat ran down his face and his heavy breathing echoed in his ears. His heart raced, feeling as though it would burst through his chest. He half hoped it would, wishing it would just give out on him, just kill him right there and then - anything other than what was about to happen to him. Anything other than _this_. For the first time in years, cold, hard reality hit Jackson full in the face. And for all of his bluster, arrogance and endless bravado, the man was now completely and utterly terrified. 

Andy stood rigid as Jackson was led towards them by two guards. The lieutenant was flanked on either side by Julio and Provenza, each of them ready to grab him should he find himself unable to control his rage. He glared hard at Jackson as he passed, willing him to do something - _anything_ \- that would give him the excuse he needed to take him down himself. He knew that Julio, at least, was wishing the same. He could feel it in every twitch of the younger man’s countenance. Jackson, however, kept his head bowed, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor as he passed.

Just as Jackson reached the end of the line of detectives, a young, blonde woman marched along the corridor, striding towards him purposefully. She was impeccably dressed in a business suit, her hair immaculate, her stiletto heels echoing loudly on the marble floor as she walked. 

Sharon’s team gathered around silently, unsure of what was happening but prepared for anything. They wouldn’t put any stunt past the man who was now being led away to begin a lengthy prison term.

The woman came to a stop in front of them, smiling as she addressed Jackson.

“Jackson Raydor?”

“The one and only,” Jackson smirked, looking her up and down appreciatively. A little of his swagger returned as he leered at her, and Andy bristled.

The woman held out a large envelope that she had been clutching, unnoticed, in her left hand. She thrust it towards Jackson who took it in both of his cuffed hands, confusion now clouding his face as he looked at her.

“You’ve been served,” the woman informed him in clipped tones. “Have a nice day!” She smiled brightly at him, before turning on her heel and marching away, leaving Jackson - and the entire Major Crimes squad - staring after her in shock.

 


	9. Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Once again, I am SO sorry for the ridiculously long delay in posting an update. I won’t bore you with the details of the insanity of my life right now. Suffice it to say, things have been…difficult. 
> 
> If anyone is still here with me - thank you so much for your patience. I appreciate it more than you know. 
> 
> Reviews make my world go round, so if you ‘have a moment’ (see what I did there? Okay, I’ll shut up now!) I would really love to hear from you.

The team stared silently after Jackson Raydor as he was led away down the corridor. He almost seemed to be in a stupor, the last remnants of his infuriating arrogance dissolving the instant he realised what was happening to him. In his chubby hands he clutched the brown envelope he had been handed by the attractive blonde, still unopened, his expression an odd mix of confusion, hurt and humiliation. He looked back only once, quickly facing forwards again when he was met with the hate-filled glares of the people who  _truly_ cared for his wife. Then, he rounded a corner with his guards and was gone.

Andy released a breath he had not realised he had been holding and suddenly became aware of the aching tension in his body. He was stiff with it. Everything hurt, from his shoulders to his feet, and his head was pounding with an ache that had been building for days. It was a tension that he would have loved to release by beating Jack to a bloody pulp, instead of simply standing back and watching him walk away. 

He looked around at the people gathered in the corridor with him. They made a somewhat odd bunch, he thought, and he felt a sudden surge of gratitude as he realised that they were all, from the attorneys to the cops to the pathologist, here for only one purpose - to see justice done for Sharon. 

Amy spoke then, breaking the somewhat oppressive silence that had descended across this unlikely yet united group of people.

“What do you think was in the envelope?” she asked nobody in particular.

“ _Well_ ,” Provenza replied. “Now, I’m no expert - ” The qualification earned him eye rolls and sniggers from various other members of the group, causing him to scowl at everyone before continuing. “ - But if I had to _guess_ , I’d say he just received his divorce papers.”

Emma looked at the lieutenant incredulously.

“What? That’s impossible,” she argued. “How the hell could the Captain have gotten that done so fast?”

The rest of them exchanged glances that were a mix of confusion, amusement and smug superiority, depending upon how well they knew their Captain and her associates.

Flynn and Provenza smirked at each other briefly before answering the question as one:

“ _Baker_.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

When Andy arrived back at the hospital that afternoon, he was surprised - and pleased - to see Sharon sitting in an armchair next to the window. The last IV was gone and in the sunlight streaming in through the blinds he could see that her bruises, too, were fading. There was a paper bag from her favourite bakery on the table beside her and he dared to hope that she may actually even have eaten something.

She looked up from her conversation with Rusty when she sensed him standing in the doorway, a serene smile gracing her beautiful features. 

“Hi,” she said softly, beckoning him into the room. 

“Hey,” he replied as he pushed himself off the door frame and ambled over to her, bending to kiss her hello when he reached her side. He picked up the bakery bag and shook it slightly as he perched on the edge of the bed. “What do we have here?”

“She ate some croissants,” Rusty said proudly, grinning widely at Andy. “Two of them.”

“Two, huh?” Andy grinned back at the boy before turning to Sharon again just in time to catch her rolling her eyes. “Well, _that_ is what I call progress.”

“How was court?” Sharon asked quietly, effectively ending any more discussion of her dietary intake for the moment. Andy busied himself inspecting the remaining contents of the bag, helping himself to the large donut at the bottom that he knew Rusty had bought for him. 

“It was fine,” he said eventually, nodding his thanks to Rusty as he took a large bite of the sugary treat. Sharon wasn’t the only one who had been skipping meals lately, and he hadn’t realised until now just how hungry he was. “Everything went to plan. I didn’t kill him,” he elaborated at her raised eyebrow. 

“Good to know.” 

The small smile she gave him didn’t reach her eyes and he knew in that moment that she was relieved only because she wanted to protect _him_ , not because she cared what happened to Jack any longer. There was a part of her that half-hoped that Jack would have given one of them cause to hurt him, even if she couldn’t acknowledge that fact. It was understandable, Andy thought. He had been hoping the exact same thing, after all.

“The weirdest thing happened after the hearing,” Andy said nonchalantly, deliberately changing the subject.

“Oh?” Her expression was one of feigned innocence that he knew only too well. 

“Yeah. Some lady turned up with an envelope for Jack. Can’t imagine what that was about.” He glanced up at her, an amused glint in his eyes.

The answering expression on her face told him that their earlier assumptions had hit the mark dead on. He lifted his head and looked at her in open awe then, and he let out a small chuckle.

“How the hell did you pull that off?” he asked eventually, shaking his head. 

“Oh, you know…” she sniffed, waving a hand dismissively. “It helps to know the right people.”

“ _Right_ ,” he rolled his eyes. “And would one of these _people_ happen to be a flamboyant lawyer with a soft spot for the most beautiful captain in the LAPD?”

“You might think that.” She was positively smirking now. “I couldn’t possibly comment.”

Andy folded his arms and stared at her, waiting patiently for the explanation that he knew she would eventually bestow upon him. Rusty sat in his chair across from Sharon, a bewildered expression on his face at the conversation - both verbal and silent - taking place in front of him. 

This time, it was Sharon’s turn to roll her eyes. 

“Gavin has had the papers signed and ready to file for years,” she said softly. “Every so often he would make sure they were up to date with current divorce law and get me to sign any changes. It used to drive me crazy. Now…” She trailed off, a sadness crossing her face. “Now, I’m just grateful that he made me do it.” She looked up at Andy and smiled, reaching for his hand. “I’m glad it’s over.” 

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon did not have to ask Andy to join her on the bed that night. He settled her carefully against the pillows, making sure that she was comfortable, before automatically taking his place at her side. He leaned on one arm on his side and kissed her softly, his lips covering hers as she closed her eyes and hummed into his mouth the way he loved. His fingers traced the delicate line of her jaw, tilting her head up slightly to give him better access to her lips. Fleetingly, he wondered whether it was entirely appropriate to be making out in a hospital bed. But then her fingers were in his hair and her tongue was in his mouth, and he couldn’t bring himself to care about much of anything except losing himself in her. He still carried an acute fear of having her taken away from him. It had settled deep within him, a nagging ache that was now as much a natural part of him as breathing. Andy didn’t know if he would ever be able to let it go. 

He smiled down at her when he eventually pulled away, before turning to lay on his back next to her and wrapping his arms around her gently. The fingers of one hand played with her hair as the other drew his customary soft patterns against the skin of her arm as it lay across him and he rejoiced in the feeling of having her in his arms. She laid her head on his broad chest, inhaling his familiar scent and feeling his steady heartbeat lulling her into slumber. 

He had been subdued since Rusty left with Provenza earlier. Not brooding, exactly. Just quieter than he had been up until now. Sharon hadn’t been overly concerned. Today had been hard on everyone and she was well aware that this whole ordeal had affected Andy greatly - certainly more than he was prepared to let on, and perhaps even more so than it had her. He had, after all, had to watch helplessly as she fought for her life. She had been spared many of the details, but she had been told enough to know how close things had come. How close they had come to losing each other. Sharon forced the thought from her mind, compelling herself to concentrate instead on the beating of the beautiful heart of this man that she loved. 

She was almost asleep when she became aware of a change in his breathing. His fingers had stilled against her skin and his body had tensed beneath her. Sharon felt the sudden tremor that rocked through him, shaking his entire body where he lay. She opened her eyes and lifted her head to look up at him, her heart breaking at what she saw. 

Andy was staring up at the ceiling, the rigidity of his features betraying his struggle to keep his emotions in check. A single tear tracked its way down the side of his face as he lay there, his jaw twitching with the effort of holding himself together.

Sharon lifted her hand to his face, wiping away the teardrop with her thumb before laying her palm against his cheek.

“Andy…”

“I thought you were asleep,” he said thickly, unable to look at her for the moment but running his fingers through her hair in an attempt at reassurance. She took a deep breath,holding back her own tears and wishing more than anything that she could take his pain away.

“Let it out,” she said softly, stroking his jaw with her fingertips as his body trembled with another involuntary tremor.

Andy swallowed hard.

“I’ll be okay in a second,” he protested, but his voice cracked as he spoke.

Sharon shifted slightly so that she could look at him without craning her neck, ignoring the pain that the movement caused in her side. She lay her palm flat against his face again, her thumb making gentle movements against his cheek.

“Andy.” Her voice was still soft, but there was no mistaking the quiet authority it held. He looked at her then, chocolate-brown eyes shining with tears. “Let it out,” she said again. 

He shook his head a fraction, no longer trusting himself to be able to speak. She studied him as he silently fought with his emotions, torn between needing to let them go and the overwhelming desire he always carried to protect her at all costs. She knew the battle he was fighting. It was the same one she fought whenever she was in danger of losing control. He was afraid that once he let go, once he broke, he would not recover. She had fought this same battle the night Rusty left her condo. When Andy had come to her, she had been determined not to let him see her fall apart. In the end though, she had never been so grateful to have someone who loved her enough to allow her to break. 

Sharon held his eyes with her own the whole time he struggled, her hand never leaving his face, wondering at how they were such completely different people - polar opposites in many respects, yet so similar in so many ways.

The wound in her abdomen protested at the strained position she was in but she blocked it from her mind. That was something she could deal with later. Andy was not. She would stay like this as long as she needed to for Andy to finally give in. There was no other option - he couldn’t bottle this up any longer without risking his health, or his sobriety - and even if there had been, she wouldn’t have taken it. She knew that he needed to fall apart completely in order to become strong again - and she also knew that he would never allow himself to shatter in front of anyone other than her, just as she would never break with anyone but him. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Andy,” she murmured. 

She knew that almost losing her had terrified him beyond anything he had ever felt before. He covered it well, but she could see it every time she looked at him - his eyes held that awful, desperate fear that came from coming far too close to losing everything. It was something she still felt in her soul every time she looked at Rusty. 

“Let it out.” Her voice was a whisper now. “I’m right here.”

She watched as he crumbled. His hold on her tightened as the first sob was wrenched from his throat. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his cheek, the coolness of her skin soothing against his, her fingers moving to caress his neck. 

He was sobbing fully now, pulling her body to him. His grip on her was firm yet inordinately gentle, his subconscious innately aware of the need to be careful with her even as he fell apart in her embrace. He could no longer articulate his thoughts, the panic and horror of the last few days taking over completely, but it didn’t matter. She knew. She understood. She simply held him, her touch enough to eventually drive the pain away until all that remained was them, silently entwined together in the blessed relief of sleep. 


	10. Hideaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is really more of a filler chapter, so it’s a little shorter - a way of getting Sharon from the hospital back to the condo without lots of unnecessary rubbish cluttering things up along the way! However, as I was writing, it also turned into something of a character study of both Sharon and Andy. It’s a little different from the rest of the fic, but I *think* it fits, and I think I like it…! I hope you do, too :)

Sharon woke on Wednesday morning to the blissful feeling of fingers slowly combing through her hair. She lay unmoving for a few minutes, just enjoying the feeling of Andy’s gentle touch. She slipped her hand underneath his t-shirt, resting her palm against his chest, over his heart. She felt him sigh contentedly as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she hummed lightly in response, stroking his skin with her fingertips. If only they weren’t in a hospital bed, she could willingly stay like this forever. However, she was determined to get out of this place as soon as she possibly could. 

In the event, Sharon wished she had lain there longer, because when she finally did shift her position the wound in her side - that had been relatively well-behaved, all things considered - suddenly sent a torrent of pain through her body, as if a hot poker were being thrust into her abdomen. Sharon released an anguished cry at the sensation and Andy’s fingers stilled immediately, his hands moving to cradle her body as he helped her find a slightly more comfortable place to rest.

“I’m alright,” she said automatically, eyes closed tight against the blinding pain that was only just starting to lessen. She lay half on her side, half on her back now, her legs drawn up instinctively. Andy sat next to her on the bed, her hand clasped between both of his as he stroked her fingers lightly.

“No, you’re not.” She opened her eyes and blinked up at him, the loving concern on his face making her stomach flip, despite the agony. “What can I do?”

She shook her head, tried a small smile, although she knew she failed miserably.

“Nothing. They’ll be here with my meds soon.” Never did she think she would miss that damn morphine pump but, God, she would do anything to have it here now. Andy frowned at her and she squeezed his hand gently. “It’s okay. It’s easing already.” It wasn’t a complete lie. The raging agony had settled to more of a throbbing ache, which she could tolerate marginally better. “I think I just stayed in one position too long, that’s all.” 

She watched him as he sat there. He was on edge again, his foot tapping impatiently against the bed as they waited for the morning drug round. It was nothing like last night, though. The breakdown had done him good, she could see it in his face, in his eyes. He had let go of some of the hurt, and much of the anger, and she was grateful for that. No, this impatience was just the hothead that she had come to know and love. The one that infuriated and delighted her in equal measure, depending upon the direction in which his annoyance was aimed. Today, he was impatient on her behalf. She suppressed a smile as he pushed himself off the bed with an exasperated huff - she had been expecting this. 

“I’m just going to - ” he started.

“Chase the nurses up?” she finished for him. He grinned sheepishly at her and she smiled at him in response. “Thank you,” she said softly. Honestly, she needed those meds _now_ and he knew it. Sometimes, having a hothead on your side could be a very good thing indeed.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

The murder room had been quiet since Jackson’s hearing the day before. The team hadn’t caught any new cases, so their time was spent catching up on paperwork - or in Provenza’s case, catching up on crossword puzzles. He looked up when Amy approached his desk, hovering in front of it nervously.

“ _Yes_?” he asked, after she had been stood there for a full minute without speaking.

“Um, I was just wondering…” she trailed off.

“ _Yes_?” he said again, trying very hard not to show his irritation.

“Do you think it would be alright for us to go visit the Captain?” Provenza looked at her in surprise as she shuffled on the spot - _this_ was why she was so nervous? “I only ask because, well, she doesn’t seem to have had many visitors - just Lieutenant Flynn, Rusty and you - and…I wondered…is there a reason for that? Does she not want people there?”

Provenza leaned back in his chair and considered the question - or, at least, the best way to answer it.

“Did you not think to ask Flynn when you saw him yesterday?” he asked suddenly. Amy looked at the floor, embarrassed.

“Well, I _did_ mention it to him,” she admitted quietly.

“And what did he say?” Provenza pushed.

“That he thought it might not be a good idea right now.” She looked at him again, confusion clouding her features. “But he didn’t say _why_ ,” she persisted, impassioned now. “And surely the Captain would want to know that we’re thinking about her - that we _care_!”

Provenza sighed and put his newspaper down on his desk.

“Sykes. Captain Raydor is a very… _private_ person. And she’s also been through a hell of an ordeal. Perhaps she just isn’t up to seeing people right now.” He softened slightly at the crestfallen expression on the young detective’s face. “Look, the Captain barely accepts _me_ being there,” he continued. “She only puts up with it because I’m helping out with Rusty. And God knows why she tolerates Flynn’s constant fussing.”

“Uh, because she loves him, Sir?” Julio offered from across the room.

A grunt and an eye roll were the only response Julio received to _that_ comment.

“Listen, Sykes… _Amy_ …” Provenza leaned forward across his desk, his voice taking on a kindlier intonation. “The Captain is feeling particularly vulnerable right now. And vulnerability is something that really doesn’t sit well with her. This wasn’t just an attack on her. This was her personal life being dragged right into the middle of her murder room, for everyone to see. Just…give her some time. She knows you care, trust me. The best way you can show it right now is to let her be.”

“Well, if we can’t _visit_ , is there something else we could do?” Amy persisted.

Provenza was about to shut her down again when he thought for a moment, a sudden idea entering his mind. He nodded his head slowly.

“Actually, Sykes, there just might be…”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

It was mid-morning when Dr. Murphy stopped by Sharon’s room to check on her. She was sitting in the same chair as the previous day, the medication having kicked in some time before. She had even managed a small amount of the breakfast that Andy had fetched from across the street. 

“Good news, Captain Raydor,” Murphy announced as he placed her charts back at the foot of her bed. “I think we can move you out of ITU, to a regular ward.”

Sharon’s eyes widened and a look of panic crossed her face.

“ _What_? No!” Murphy looked at her in surprise. “I don’t want to go to another ward - I want to go _home_!” 

The doctor’s features softened sympathetically as he moved to the bed, sitting on the edge of it facing her chair. 

“Captain, I’m not sure you’re ready for that, yet. You’ve been through a lot and this is really the best place for you…”

“Andy!” 

She turned to him helplessly, her tear-filled eyes silently begging him to do something. She could feel the panic rising in her chest. It was a sensation she was unused to these days, although it had been a far more familiar companion during the turbulent years living with Jack. She wanted to argue with the doctor. Insist on leaving. Tell him that she was going home and there was nothing he could do about it, so he better not even try. But the words died on her lips. Her throat was dry and her eyes were wet and all her energy was spent trying to remember to breathe.

She tried desperately to summon up some strength, some fight, but apparently her inner Darth Raydor had picked this exact moment to desert her. 

Andy rose from his chair and knelt beside her, taking her hand in his and stroking it gently, trying to calm her down. He understood her need to leave this place. She wanted to be somewhere familiar, with people she knew, in an environment she could control. Sharon was never very good at relinquishing control. He stole a look at her face. Panic was written in every movement, every breath. 

“Why don’t you want her to leave, Doc?” he asked gruffly. “What exactly does she need you to do for her here that can’t be done at home?”

The doctor shifted slightly.

“It’s not that she _can’t_ go home,” he said carefully. “Just that we would really prefer her to stay. At least for a few more days.”

“ _Why_?” Andy persisted. “She doesn’t have any IVs now. The nurse this morning said the wound is healing well and no longer needs dressing. She can manage on oral medication. Her physical therapy referral is already in place. Surely, she would be better off - mentally, as well as physically - in a place she feels comfortable. Staying here will do her no good if it just sets off a panic attack.” 

Andy stared hard at the doctor, daring him to challenge him. Sharon squeezed his hand slightly, the initial fear at the thought of more time in hospital beginning to subside as Andy went into battle on her behalf. 

Dr. Murphy looked at them both for a long moment, weighing up the options and realising that this was one argument he was clearly not going to win.

“Alright,” he said finally. “I will discharge the Captain tomorrow - ” Sharon gripped Andy’s hand tightly, releasing a shaky breath. “ - _Provided_ \- ” he continued, “ - that she has someone with her _at all times_.”

“She will,” Andy said immediately. His hand moved to her back, between her shoulder blades, rubbing in a soothing motion as the doctor spoke again, feeling her relax under his touch.

“You make sure she rests and takes her meds.” Andy nodded vehemently. “And at the first sign of anything amiss, you bring her straight back here - no arguments.” He looked pointedly at Sharon then and she nodded slowly.

“Alright.” Murphy conceded defeat. “I will stop by first thing with the discharge papers.” 

“ _Thank you_ ,” Sharon murmured as he stood and left the room. She closed her eyes as Andy’s hand moved to the back of her neck, under her hair, gently massaging the tension that was coiled there away. She leaned into him, her head resting against his cheek as her hand cupped his face. Andy covered her hand with his own, turning his head to kiss her palm. He looked down at her as she lifted her head and met his gaze. “Thank you,” she whispered again, her thumb stroking his cheek. 

He leaned forwards and dropped a gentle kiss against her lips.

“Any time, Captain.” He smiled at her and she reached for him, pulling him closer and capturing his lips with her own. 

“Andy,” she said softly against his mouth. He murmured quietly in response. “I love you.”

 


	11. It's Been a Long Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Two chapters in two days? Am I feeling alright?! Honestly, this chapter was already mostly written, so I didn’t have too much to do to get it posted! (It’s not cheating, it’s being prepared…)
> 
> Thanks so much for your comments on the last chapter - glad to know it came across well! Please do keep the reviews coming, they make my day that little bit brighter :)

 

It was late on Thursday afternoon that Andy and Sharon finally arrived at the condo. Dr. Murphy had been delayed by an emergency, and then the paperwork had taken forever to sort out, but eventually they had got out of the hospital and were on their way home. Rusty was on a field trip with his classmates today. He had wanted to pull out as soon as he realised that Sharon was coming home, but she had insisted that he go and enjoy himself. He would spend tonight at Nicole’s before coming back to the condo the next day, so for now it was just the two of them. Andy had a sneaking suspicion that she was relieved at that. As much as she adored the boy, tonight she needed peace and quiet, to be able to readjust before the chaos of normal life returned. 

Andy carried the bags - both his and Sharon’s - up from the car and supported her as they made their way slowly into the elevator. He had wanted to carry her, but she insisted upon making her own way, the look in her eyes clearly indicating that now was not the time to argue with her.

Reaching the front door, Andy unlocked it and pushed it open, allowing Sharon to slowly edge her way inside. He dumped the bags by the hallway table and turned to ask her where she wanted to settle. The words died on his lips as he took in her movements and the rigidity of her posture. 

She was standing just inside the living area, her gaze directed along the hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom. Her eyes were following something that wasn’t there, and he realised immediately that she was reliving the horror of that night. She turned suddenly, looking through him to the hall table before turning again to face the kitchen, her eyes tracking the route she had taken in her efforts to escape, before fixating on the place where she had fallen. She stood motionless, a single tear tracking its way unnoticed down her cheek. 

Andy moved towards her slowly, wary of startling her. 

“Sharon.” 

She inclined her head towards him a fraction but otherwise did not respond. He edged closer, his hands coming to rest on her upper arms, stroking them softly.

“Sweetheart, let’s get you settled, okay?” 

She hesitated, before nodding slowly, coming back to the present, back to him. Then she frowned, looking at the kitchen area as if seeing it for the first time.

“Who cleaned up?”

“What?” He was genuinely confused for a moment, not understanding the question. She indicated the area around the counter.

“Who cleaned up?” she said again. She met his gaze, then. “It must have been a mess,” she said in a broken voice, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “But now it’s… _spotless_.”

“Ah.” Andy grinned and rolled his eyes. “The team wanted to do something to show you how much they miss you. Amy and Julio arranged for the condo to be fixed up. It was thoroughly cleaned and the bathroom doorway was repainted, because it was chipped.” He dangled a set of keys in front of her. “Mike had the locks changed as a precaution, because there were so many people in and out of here the last few days.” He laid the keys on the dining table and reached into his pocket again. “And this - ” he chuckled, handing her the object he had retrieved, “ - is your new cell phone. Same number. All your information has been transferred across from the old one, courtesy of Buzz. And as for Provenza…well, he _supervised_ the entire operation. Apparently.” He rolled his eyes again.

She took the phone slowly, turning it over in her hands before looking up at him in wonder. Her eyes filled with tears again and he smiled down at her, his hand caressing her face. 

“They did all this? For _me_?”

“Of course for you,” he said softly. How could she still not see how cherished she was, after all this time? “They care about you, Sharon.” He brought his hands up to hold her face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall. “They love you.” He brought his lips to hers, brushing against them in the gentlest of kisses. “I love you.” Her hand curled around the back of his neck and she pulled him down to her, kissing him firmly this time.

Her heart leapt as his arms came around her, holding her close.

She was alive, she was safe and she was loved.

She was home.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

An hour or so later, Sharon was sitting on the side of her bed, trying to decide whether she had the strength to take a shower. Her entire body was aching, but she desperately wanted to wash the last few days from her skin. The smell of the hospital clung to her and she so badly needed to feel clean again. 

Casting a longing look in the direction of the bathroom, Sharon got to her feet and winced as the healing wound in her side reminded her of its presence. There was no way she was going to be able to do this alone. 

She slowly moved to the bedroom door and then along the hall, holding on to the wall for support. She could hear Andy moving around in the kitchen and she called for him as she leaned heavily against her desk for support, unsure of her ability to cross the rest of the room unaided. 

He appeared immediately, frowning at her when he realised she was wandering around instead of staying in the bedroom where he had deposited her a little while before. 

“You’re supposed to be resting.” 

His hands went to her shoulders immediately and he turned her gently around, pointing her back in the direction of the bedroom once more. She ignored him and turned back to face him, resting her hands on his chest.

“Andy, I need to take a shower…”

“You can do that tomorrow.”

She shook her head.

“No. Please, I…” She held his gaze, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “I _need_ to take a shower,” she repeated simply. He nodded slowly, his hands stroking her arms absently. “But I… I can’t… I don’t think…” She fiddled nervously with the buttons of his casual shirt as she tried to find the words to ask him for help. Suddenly his fingers were lifting her chin, his brown eyes gentle as he smiled down at her.

“How about we do this together?”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Sharon undressed in the bedroom as Andy went to start the shower running, allowing the water to heat up to an acceptable temperature. He came back for her then, divesting himself of his own clothing before making his way to her side. She shivered as he approached, more from nervousness than from cold. She wasn’t used to being this dependent. This vulnerable. Even with him, she found the situation uncomfortable.

It was a fact that he seemed to innately understand. While his arm slipped around her waist and his hand held hers as he gently guided her to the bathroom, his eyes never left her face. She smiled up at him gratefully.

Andy longed to lean down and kiss her, just to reassure her, but he held himself back. He knew that she was already feeling completely exposed and he would hate for her to think that he was trying to take advantage of her vulnerability when the exact opposite was true. He settled for squeezing her hand lightly and she returned the gesture immediately with another small smile.

She hissed in pain as he helped her into the shower, trembling as running water hit her skin for the first time in days. He came to stand behind her, his hands on her shoulders, carefully manoeuvring her under the cleansing spray.

Sharon leaned back into him, her head resting against his shoulder, her eyes closed. She felt the heat of the water begin to soothe her aching, weary body as he held her there, completely supporting her weight, never once allowing her to stumble.

They did not speak, communicating only by sight and touch. She braced herself against the wall as he shampooed and conditioned her hair, removing every last trace of the last week from the long tresses. He washed her body then, his touch deliberate and gentle, loving but not arousing. He allowed himself to be guided by her, stilling whenever she moaned in pain, stepping into the path of the spray whenever the sensation threatened to overwhelm her still-fragile body.

When he was done, she leaned back against the wall, her emerald gaze on his face as he quickly cleansed his own body. They smiled at each other as he switched the water off, stopping to caress her face gently with his fingers. He stepped out of the shower then, quickly wrapping a towel around himself before coming back for her, enveloping her in soft white cotton as she stepped gratefully into his waiting arms.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“What are you looking for?"

She was perched on the end of her bed, still wrapped in the towel, watching in amusement as Andy looked around her dresser.

“Blow dryer,” he replied, turning to look at her fondly. 

“Andy, you don’t need to do that, I’ll just let it dry on its own.”

He sighed.

“You’re exhausted, Sharon. You need to sleep. And I am not letting you go to bed with wet hair - the last thing you need right now is to get sick.” 

She couldn’t help it. She giggled. He mock-glowered at her in response, but she caught the flash of amusement in his dark eyes.

“Blow dryer,” he demanded again.

She pointed and he picked it up, along with her brush from on top of the dresser. She curled her legs underneath her as he settled himself behind her on the bed and switched the dryer on. 

She closed her eyes as he ran his fingers through her thick hair, separating out the strands before running the brush through as he carefully dried it off. He was inordinately tender, his touch soothing away the last of the tension that had remained in her body. 

She opened her eyes again, watching him in the mirror across from her bed. There were remarkably few who knew that this man, long her favourite hothead, could be so incredibly, impossibly gentle. Her heart ached at the knowledge that she was one of them. Sharon’s eyes met his in the mirror and she smiled softly at him, earning a lazy grin in return. 

Yes, she was privileged indeed.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Andy replaced the brush and dryer and sat on the bed next to her. He took her hands in his as they faced each other, a small smile gracing her lips as he stroked her delicate fingers softly. He leaned in closer, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her soft skin after he did so.

Only now did he allow himself to kiss her. Her lips were soft, pliant against his own as he moved his mouth over hers and she hummed a little as her fingers curled into the short, damp hair at his neck.

Her eyes were closed and she sighed softly as he pulled back to study her, his fingers gentle as they stroked her pale face. She inclined her head into his touch, her hand coming up to cover his, her fingers lacing with his own.

She brought his hand to her mouth, her lips dropping feather-light kisses across his palm and his heart clenched as he gazed at her fragile beauty.  

Her eyes were the palest of greens when she finally opened them to look at him and Andy longed to take away the pain he saw shining within them. It was pain she no longer tried to hide from him, and for that, at least, he was grateful - though he wished with all his soul that it didn’t exist at all.

He kissed her again and stood, retrieving his overnight bag which was now sitting just inside the bedroom door. He pulled out a clean t-shirt and handed it to her with a wink.

“I brought a few,” he grinned as she took the shirt, her eyes lighting up and a genuine smile crossing her face. 

He turned away as she removed the towel to put her underwear and t-shirt on, pulling out some clean boxers for himself and stepping into them before dropping his own towel. He gathered up the discarded items, ready to take them back to the bathroom.

"Andy?"

He stopped what he was doing to look down at her. "Yes?"

"Will you stay?"

"Of course," he smiled. "I was just going to make up the couch."

Sharon shook her head. "No."

"No?" he echoed, puzzled.

"Will you stay...with me?" she asked, tentatively.

His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, reaching for his hand and clasping it tight.

“I seem to sleep better with you around.” 

She smiled shyly up at him and he thought for the thousandth time how utterly adorable she was. He bent down to kiss her, smiling against her mouth when she hummed in pleasure.

“Lay down and get settled,” he said softly. “I’ll be right there.”

She did as instructed, smiling softly at him when he returned from the bathroom. He flipped out the light and pushed the door closed, mindful of the fact that Rusty would probably be making an early appearance in the morning. 

Andy lay down on the bed next to her and held his arm out for her to join him. She went into his embrace willingly, tucking herself into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. Sharon snuggled closer as his arm came around her body, ever-careful not to hurt her. He could feel her steady breaths against his neck, her hand caressing his chest lightly, her leg sneaking in between his until she was completely wrapped around him. She lay still then, simply letting herself be enveloped by his heat. His security. His _love_. Finding peace in his very presence. Her hand cupped his face as she lifted her head a little and pressed her lips firmly to the underside of his jaw. 

"I love you, Andy Flynn." 

Her words were a whisper against his skin, so soft he could almost have believed he had imagined them.

"I love you, too. Always."

His reply, just as soft, was a declaration. More than that, it was a promise. 

It was forever.


	12. Find My Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters left now - the end is in sight! I’m hoping to get them all posted this week, so that I can start writing for the #ShandySundayHiatus Marathon with a clean slate. 
> 
> For those of you who have been requesting a Rusty reappearance - here he is! However, I’ve been having real trouble getting into his head lately - I hope I managed it well enough for you!

Sharon woke to an empty bed on Friday morning, after the best night’s sleep she’d had for a long while. She stretched lazily, wincing only slightly as the movement caused her side to begin its familiar dull ache. Andy’s side of the bed was still warm - he couldn’t have been up for long. 

She smiled to herself at the thought: _Andy’s_ side. That was something she could get used to. 

Turning onto her side, she saw a glass of water on her nightstand, alongside her morning medications. Smiling again at his thoughtfulness, she carefully sat herself up and dutifully took the pills, knowing that he would be back to check that she had done so soon enough. 

There was a delicious smell flowing through the condo as Sharon pulled on a favourite pair of yoga pants. She grabbed her black cardigan from her closet, slipping it over the t-shirt she still wore and made her way out of the bedroom, in the direction of the kitchen. Andy looked up as she approached, grinning when he saw her. She was walking much more easily today and he was relieved to see that she at last had some colour in her cheeks.  The bruises that had marked her skin were almost completely faded and even the cut to her lip was far less obvious - and would hopefully, according to Dr. Murphy, not even leave a scar. Her eyes had some of their sparkle back too, he noticed, as he crossed from the kitchen to the dining table, where she had stopped to rest for a moment against the back of a chair.

He slipped his arms around her carefully, lowering his head so that he could capture her lips in a slow, meaningful kiss. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” He grinned at her again and she smiled up at him, running her fingers through his sleep-tousled hair.

“Good morning,” she replied softly, pulling his head back down for another, longer kiss. Her arms came around his neck as she parted her lips, allowing him the access he craved, deepening the kiss as he held her gently against him. 

“Something smells good,” she said eventually, peeking around him to see what he had been up to in the kitchen. 

“Omelettes,” he replied. “They’re keeping warm in the oven. You hungry?”

She really was. He laughed when she nodded enthusiastically, settling herself at the head of the table. Andy grabbed the plates from the oven and carried them over, seating himself at her left. He watched as she ate, gratitude coursing through him once again for the simple, amazing fact that she was _here_. She looked up and caught him studying her, a smile crinkling the corners of her green eyes adorably. He grinned back, a little sheepishly, and turned his attention to his own breakfast - but not before a small hand had snuck into his, squeezing it quickly before pulling away. He looked up. She was already eating again, but he knew: She was grateful, too. For her life. For being home. And maybe - hopefully - also for him. 

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

“Sharon, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

They had finished breakfast and settled themselves on the couch. Nicole had texted to say that she would be bringing Rusty home in about an hour, so Sharon was making the most of the time they had together, just the two of them. She had her legs curled underneath her and was leaning back against Andy, gently stroking his arm which was resting along her thigh. 

“It’s about Jack…” He paused, studying her reaction intently. Sharon forced herself more upright, turning so that she could face him comfortably.

“Go ahead, Andy. It’s okay.” She smiled encouragingly but he looked decidedly uncomfortable, refusing to meet her gaze.

“You know that Jack and I used to be drinking buddies, back in the day, right?” She nodded slowly, not sure where he was going with this. “I just…I need to know…” Andy fidgeted where he sat, his hand unconsciously reaching up to rub the back of his head. Sharon reached for him and held his other hand tight, lacing her fingers with his.

“Andy, what is it?”

He met her gaze then, and the uncertainty, the guilt - the self-loathing for the man he used to be - that she saw in his eyes made her want to weep.

“When he left me and the guys all those nights, in whatever bar we happened to be at, did he come home to you and… Did he…” His eyes filled with tears as he tried to force the words out. “Was he coming home and hurting you?” he managed eventually.

Sharon’s eyes widened as she realised what he was thinking and she rushed to reassure him.

“Oh, honey, no. _No_.” 

She shook her head vehemently at the doubt in his eyes. Touching his face, she leaned in to him, ensuring that he maintained eye contact with her - determined that he would really hear what she was saying.

“Jack was a charismatic drunk, you know that.” He nodded slightly and she stroked his cheek with her thumb. “He could also be a volatile drunk. There were bar fights, various altercations over the years. Never anything that he was charged with…but the bruises were proof enough of events.” 

Andy nodded again and brought his hand up to cover hers. She waited while he settled their joined hands in his lap and lifted his eyes to meet hers once more.

“He was never violent with me.” She said the words firmly, looking him straight in the eye, and he saw the truth of what she was saying written clearly in her gaze. There was still something he didn’t understand, however.

“Rusty said that when Jack showed up and you realised he was drinking…he said you looked… _scared_.”

She saw the unspoken question in his eyes and sighed as she looked down, thinking about how to answer it.

“We fought sometimes,” she admitted. “He would throw things…break things…if he didn’t get his way.” She found his gaze again. “I was afraid that he would make a scene, or frighten Rusty like he used to frighten Ricky and Emily.” She paused and swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears as she studied her hands intently. “I thought I could handle him,” she said quietly. “I never, ever thought he would… If I had known, if I had suspected, even for a second… I would never have opened that door.” She looked up at him, pain filling her eyes. “I never would have let him _near_ Rusty,” she said in a whisper.

“I know. I _know_ you wouldn’t.”

Andy had heard enough. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her by asking the question, but maybe now they could both, finally, let go of the past. Maybe now they could really find their future, together.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

By the time Nicole arrived with Rusty, Sharon had composed herself once more. Andy took Nicole into the kitchen to chat and make some tea, giving Sharon and Rusty some time alone together. She smiled warmly at the boy as he stood nervously at the end of the couch. He had been so looking forward to seeing her back home, but now that she was here, and he was here - and they were both, like, _here_ \- he wasn’t sure what to do.

Sharon patted the cushion next to her, understanding his awkwardness.

“Come and sit by me,” she said softly. He did as instructed, instinctively pulling her into a hug as soon as he was by her side. 

“I missed you, Sharon.” 

“I know, honey. I missed you too.”

He held onto her for dear life, as if afraid she would disappear again if he dared to let her go. Sharon rubbed his back comfortingly, reassuring him of her presence, smiling as she felt some of the anxious tension he was carrying dissipate a little.

"Thank you,” she murmured into the boy’s shoulder as she held him tightly against her. Rusty pulled back and looked at her, frowning in confusion.

“For what?” 

Sharon smiled at him and stroked his face. 

“For saving me.”

“Oh.” He swallowed hard. “I…uh…I just…” Rusty stuttered, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. His eyes filled with tears and he looked down at his fingers, twisting nervously in his lap. All at once, he was overcome with the need to be held by her again.

They reached for each other at the same time. Sharon’s arms wrapped around Rusty’s shoulders as his own held her gently around her waist. His hands clutched at the black cardigan she wore as if seeking comfort in its familiarity. Leaning into her, he rested his head against her shoulder as she rocked him gently, one hand holding him tight as the other stroked his hair softly. He relaxed completely into her embrace and she took the opportunity to drop a single kiss onto the top of his head. Never had he let her hold him so long before, and her heart swelled with the love that she felt for this child. For he was still a child, particularly emotionally, however much he tried to convince everyone otherwise. Never had that fact been more apparent than in this moment.

“Sharon?” His voice was quiet, muffled against her chest. She hummed in response, continuing the rocking motion that seemed to be soothing him. He squeezed her gently. “I love you.”

“Oh, honey.” Her eyes filled with tears and her voice was thick with emotion. “I love you, too.”


	13. Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first paragraph of this chapter was supposed to be a quick whizz through the weekend, to get to the exciting part. But then I started writing and the characters just kinda took over the keyboard, until I ended up with a whole scene that was completely unplanned! It seems that Rusty has suddenly decided that he hasn’t been in the story nearly enough - but at least he and I seem to be communicating better now…!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. We are nearing the end, but there’s another twist in the tale…

Sharon’s condition continued to improve over the next few days. Her spirits were brightened further on Sunday afternoon, when Mike Tao called. He had managed to finally acquire a contact number for her children in Europe and her whole face lit up with pure joy when Andy gave her the news. 

He gave her some space as she made the call, although he couldn’t help but overhear snippets of the conversation. Predictably, she played down the seriousness of events. He understood her reasoning - she was trying to protect them from the worst of it, at least until they were back home - but he couldn’t help but shudder at the way she glossed over parts of the story in that nonchalant tone of hers. Really big parts, too. Like the fact that she had been left to bleed out on the floor by their father. Or the fact that she had very nearly died. Andy closed his eyes then and held on to the kitchen counter, trying to focus on his breathing. Trying to ignore the tightening in his chest that happened every time he pictured her lying in that hospital bed, the monitor screaming and the medics desperately trying to bring her back.

He didn’t hear her end the call, but suddenly Sharon’s arms were around him, her body pressed against his back as she rested her head between his shoulder blades. He turned in her arms and wrapped his own around her, pulling her against his chest and burying his face in her hair. She squeezed him gently.

“I will tell them,” she said softly, knowing what he had been thinking. “But not over the phone.”

Andy nodded and held her a little tighter.

“They’re coming back in a couple of weeks. They’ll stop by here before heading back home. We can talk then.”

“Okay.” 

He pulled back and looked down at her then. She smiled up at him as she curled her hand around the back of his neck, pulling his head down towards her. Their lips met in a soft kiss which Andy immediately deepened, needing to feel as close to her as possible. He closed his eyes and she hummed softly as his tongue stroked hers in a slow rhythm.

“Oh! Eww!” 

Sharon broke the kiss, resting her forehead against Andy’s chest as she was overcome with giggles. Andy looked up to see Rusty standing with his back purposely towards them, a hand covering his eyes for good measure.

“It’s okay, kid,” Andy snorted. “You can turn around.”

“Are you sure?” Rusty turned slowly on the spot, one eye peeking through his fingers. Satisfied that it was indeed safe to look, he lowered his hand and tentatively moved into the kitchen to get the snack that he had come for. “You know, we talked about this, Sharon,” he chastised his foster mother as he rummaged in the refrigerator. “I’m sensitive. Remember?”

She ruffled his hair as he closed the refrigerator door and turned back around to face her.

“I apologise, Rusty,” she smirked, amusement colouring her tone. “Don’t worry, Andy will be back at work tomorrow so we will have far less opportunity to scar you for life.”

“Uh, yeah, about that…” Andy started. “You know, I don’t have to go back so soon…I could take some more time, if you need me to…”

Her eyes held his gaze, the reassurance they projected meeting the terror that he knew she read in his own. 

“It’s okay, Andy. I’m doing much better, I don’t need constant monitoring.” 

Sharon smiled at him gratefully, stroking his arm as she spoke. 

It was true and he knew it. Still, the thought of going back to work - of leaving her alone, for _hours_ \- had him wanting to vomit with fear.

“I could stay,” Rusty said from behind her. “You know, if Flynn can’t.”

“You will _not_ ,” Sharon said firmly, bestowing her best parental glare upon her young charge. “You have school.”

“But, Sharon…”

“No.” 

She looked from the teenager to the lieutenant, smiling fondly at both of them. She wasn’t used to having people so determined to look after her. It would take some adjustment, but she had to admit it was a nice feeling. An _extremely_ nice feeling.

“No,” she said again, her voice softer now. “To both of you. You - ” she pointed at Rusty. “ - will go to school. And you - ” she turned her attention back to Andy. She could swear he was pouting slightly and she had to quickly stifle a chuckle. “ - will go to work as planned.” She held up a hand. “No arguments.”

The two males sighed in unison, knowing when they were defeated. She lowered her head slightly to hide the smile that was sneaking across her face. 

“Fine.” It was Andy who finally spoke. He moved towards her, sliding his arms around her waist from behind. “But I’m coming back in the afternoon to take you to your physical therapy appointment.”

“ _Andy_ …”

“No arguments.” He repeated her words to her with a grin.

“Okay,” she conceded after looking at him for a long moment. “Deal.”

“Good.”

She reached up and stroked his cheek as he lowered his head to her. With a quick glance at Rusty, who was now busy opening a bag of chips at the breakfast counter, Andy began to kiss his way along her jaw, turning her in his arms so that he could better access her mouth. Rusty looked back at them just as Andy placed a kiss firmly on Sharon’s lips.

“Oh my _God_! Guys, come on, like, s _eriously_?!”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Andy entered the condo on Monday afternoon using the spare key that Sharon had given him to use while he was staying there. He looked around as he entered, spotting her sitting on the couch, holding a piece of paper in her hand. 

“Hey,” he called over to her as he closed the door. “Everyone was asking after you at work. They really miss you. Even Provenza is making noises about wanting you back - although that might have something to do with the fact that he’s currently drowning in paperwork!” 

He dropped his jacket onto the back of a dining chair and turned to face Sharon. She hadn’t greeted him - hadn’t even looked up in fact - and her gaze was fixed on the paper that she still clutched in her hand. 

“Are you ready to go for your appointment?” he asked hesitantly.

No response.

“Sharon?” 

He rounded the edge of the couch and stood beside her. Her face was strained and pale, her posture rigid. The now painfully familiar grip of fear clutched at him as he lowered himself to sit beside her, his eyes determinedly on her face rather than the paper she held.

“What is it?”

She looked up at him then, her eyes filled with unshed tears. With a shaking hand, she held the paper out for him to take. He scanned it quickly, the fear that had settled within him turning to fury as he realised exactly what it was.

“What the _hell_?” he exploded.

“Andy…” Sharon placed a hand on his forearm to calm him. “It’s okay. It’s being handled.”

“He’s playing games!”

“I know.”

“What the _hell_ , Sharon?” he said again, his face a mixture of anger and incredulity.

“I _know_.” 

Her voice was soft and she squeezed his arm to focus his attention on her rather than on the letter that had so upset him. This time when he looked at her, his gaze softened. The rage was slowly seeping away. He was coming back to himself - back to her. Now they could talk about this.

“How did he get the letter to you?” His voice was gentler now. “I thought he wasn’t allowed to contact you at all.”

“He’s not.” Sharon showed Andy the envelope that the letter had arrived in. “It wasn’t sent from the prison. He must have given it to someone to post on the outside.” 

She ran a hand across her forehead. She was getting a headache. Andy noticed the movement and laid a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. She relaxed into his touch, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. He dropped a kiss on her hair before his gaze returned to the letter in his hand. 

“Jack really thinks that he can blackmail you into visiting him by telling you that it’s the only way he’ll sign the divorce papers?”

“Apparently so.” Sharon sighed.

“You’re not going?”

“No!” She sat up straight again and her eyes were fierce when they met his. “Like I said, it’s being handled.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Emma Rios pulled up in the prison parking lot in a rush. She was running late - something she despised - and she was irritated beyond measure with the reason for her having to be here in the first place. 

Andrea Hobbs had taken the call from Captain Raydor, as Emma had been in court at the time. Her mouth fell open in disbelief when Andrea told her what had happened, showing her the copy of the letter that the Captain had e-mailed over to the DA’s office. Honestly, if Jackson Raydor thought he was going to get away with this little stunt he obviously hadn’t grasped who he was dealing with. 

As she reached the entrance to the building, Emma noticed a tall, well dressed blond man standing just outside. He straightened as she approached and extended his hand politely.

“Ms. Rios?”

“Yes,” Emma responded, shaking his hand firmly.

“Pleased to meet you - I’ve heard _so_ much about you,” he said, smirking slightly. “I’mCaptain Raydor’s attorney - Gavin Baker.”

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Having briefly discussed a plan of attack for this impromptu meeting with Jackson, Emma and Gavin approached the tiny prison interview room together. Gavin was to take the lead on anything pertaining to the divorce, while Emma would make sure that Jackson knew exactly how much legal trouble he was now in for making contact with his wife.

Inside the brick-walled room, Jackson sat confidently at the single table, grinning to himself. He had known that if he could just get in touch with Sharon, she would see sense. Of course she would come if he asked her to - she never had been able to resist him. Not for long. No matter what he did - and admittedly, what he had done this time was worse than anything he had ever put her through before. But still, it was over now. He had offered to explain everything to her if she would just come to see him. He was surprised to be taken into an interview room rather than the main visiting hall - Sharon had probably arranged that, he thought smugly. She never was one for conducting her business in public - and he knew she probably had enough influence to be able to get them a private room.

He had signed the divorce papers, which lay in an envelope on the table in front of him. He hadn’t been planning to, knowing that he would be able to talk her out of this ridiculous idea once they were face to face. Thinking about it though, he decided that signing them would be a show of good faith. He could show them to her, let her see that he was prepared to do what she wanted, before he proceeded to talk her out of the whole idea. 

Who knows, once that was taken care of he might even be able to convince her to talk to the DDA about getting his sentenced reduced. After all, it wasn’t as if anyone died. And Sharon was obviously fine now. Jackson chuckled. He had known that Provenza was making a big fuss about nothing back in the interview. Silly old coot. Someone should have retired him years ago…

Jackson looked up sharply as the door to the interview room opened. 

“What the…?” Jackson’s face slackened as first Emma and then Gavin entered the room. “What are _you_ doing here?” His eyes flickered from one attorney to the other. “Where’s _Sharon_?”

“Captain Raydor?” Emma asked in a friendly tone. “Now, why would you be expecting her? I mean, it’s not as if you could have contacted her to arrange a visit, is it? Not with the conditions of the deal that you signed.” 

The smile on her face was predatory and Jackson’s heart sank as he realised that she knew everything. Sharon must have gone running straight to her. Bitch.

“What about you? What do _you_ want?” Jackson demanded of Gavin.

“Oh, I’m just here to collect the divorce papers,” Gavin smirked. “Seeing as how you have them ready.”

Jackson snatched the envelope up from the table as the taller man approached. 

“You can’t have them. I’m not signing.”

Gavin’s smirk disappeared and his voice dropped dangerously.

“So, they’re _not_ signed and ready? Because you assured Sharon - in that lovely handwritten letter you sent - that they _were_.” 

Jackson swallowed hard, sweat starting to drip down his face as the lawyer held his gaze with an icy stare.

“I want to see Sharon. I need to talk to her. I need to explain things. Then, if she still wants a divorce, I’ll give _her_ the papers. I won’t give them to you.”

Gavin offered Jackson a shark-like smile. He almost felt sorry for the man, still thinking that he had some cards left to play. 

Almost.

“That would be a mistake. Jack, Sharon isn’t coming to see you. She doesn’t want anything more to do with you. That’s why we are here. It’s over. Give me the papers.”

"Sharon still cares about me. I know she does. She wouldn't have agreed to the plea deal otherwise," Jackson stated desperately, his previous confidence slipping away rapidly now. “She didn’t want me spending the rest of my life in jail, so she must still have feelings for me!”

“Oh, my _God_!" 

Gavin stared at him, aghast. Could this man be any more preposterous? Even Emma was shaking her head at the utter delusion of the man.

"She didn't do that for _you_ , you ridiculous little man! She did it for Rusty, so that he wouldn't have to testify - _again_. And for her children, so that they wouldn't have to sit and listen to graphic descriptions of how their father tried to butcher their mother with a carving knife! None of this was _ever_ about _you_!" 

Gavin sneered at Jackson, his hatred for the man who had tried to kill his best friend pouring out of him. He had never liked Jack, but now it was all he could do not to beat him senseless. It was only the presence of the DDA - and the knowledge that there were likely cameras in the room - that kept him from acting on the urge. He leaned across the table, his face only centimetres away from Jackson, who suddenly cowered in his seat. 

" _Now_ ," the lawyer continued in a dangerous voice. "Give me the damn _papers_.”

Jackson held his ground for all of three seconds, before holding out the envelope with a trembling hand. Gavin snatched it away from him, stowing it safely in his briefcase before striding to the edge of the room, allowing Emma to take her turn with the pathetic creature before him.

Pulling out a chair opposite Jackson, Emma sat down at the table. Her relaxed manner was in sharp contrast to Jackson, who was now sweating profusely and looking like he would rather be anywhere other than in this room. 

Emma smiled sweetly at him.

“Mr. Raydor,” she began. “I’m sure you probably want to be getting back to your cell, so I’ll make this quick.”

Jack nodded. 

“If you _ever_ attempt to contact Captain Raydor again, your plea deal will be void and you will go to court, where I will make sure that you are made to serve your sentence in its entirety.” 

Emma leaned forward in her chair, her hands folded on the table in front of her. Her steely gaze held Jackson’s frightened one as she spoke again.

“You will not call the Captain, write to her, e-mail her, send her a birthday card, ask her to visit or establish contact in any other way, shape or form. If you do, we go to court where, in addition to asking for your full sentence to be invoked, I will also activate the sexual assault charge that is lying on record.” Jackson visibly paled as she spoke. “Do I make myself clear, Mr. Raydor.”

Jackson tried to speak, but his voice had deserted him. Instead, he simply nodded his understanding. Emma grinned.

“Very good.”

Pushing her chair back, Emma stood and joined Gavin by the door. He opened it, allowing the DDA to step out ahead of him, before he turned back to glare at Jackson once more. He shook his head in disgust and left the room as the guards went in to escort the prisoner back to his cell.

Stepping out into the bright sunshine, Gavin said goodbye to Emma Rios, waving her off before pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket. He dialled a number and waited.

“ _Hi, honey_ ,” Sharon’s warm voice filtered through the speaker. 

Gavin smiled - his first genuine smile of the afternoon - as he replied. 

“It’s handled.”


	14. Cleared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’ve reached the penultimate chapter. Not far to go now, so please stick with me :)
> 
> And remember, reviews are my lifeblood (hint, hint)!

The next couple of weeks passed by in a whirlwind of physical therapy appointments, doctors check-ups and mandatory psychological evaluations - with Sharon trying very, very hard not to go completely stir-crazy in the midst of it all. She had eventually managed to convince Andy - after a week of him driving her to and from every appointment - that she was perfectly capable of managing the trips herself. As much as she loved him and appreciated his help - and she  _really_ did - she also relished having a little time outside the condo by herself. Taking things slowly was something she still had no real choice over, her body not yet being completely healed, but it had actually proved to be something of a blessing. It allowed her the opportunity to see the things she usually missed in the busy rush of everyday life. She had spent two whole afternoons just sitting quietly in the park, calmly watching the world go by. A simple pleasure, but an indulgence that she would never normally allow herself. It was a rare gift and one she had come to treasure.

By the following Friday - and despite these moments of respite - Sharon had had more than enough of being a lady of leisure. In an effort to feel useful again, she had decided that she would venture to the grocery store on her way back from her therapy appointment. Andy and Rusty had both been great about staying on top of the shopping, but today they were each busy with school and work and there were several things that they were now completely out of at home. 

Andy had left the condo before she woke this morning. The team had a big case on the go - not that he would tell her much about it, insisting that she didn’t need to worry about work until she was back there. No amount of subtle probing, wheedling or outright begging had managed to change his mind. He simply smiled that infuriating, beautiful, lopsided smileof his - and promptly changed the subject. When that didn’t work, he would attempt to kiss her quiet instead. _That_ , she had to admit, usually did the trick - at least for a little while. Sharon appreciated that he was just looking after her but, honestly, she hated feeling so _useless_. Plus, she was bored out of her mind, stuck at home all day. 

As she pulled up in the parking lot at the store, Sharon’s thoughts stayed firmly on her new-found relationship. Andy had still not returned to his home and Sharon wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about that. Part of her thought that she should be encouraging him to leave - and the old Sharon _would_ have been. After all, she had been living alone - or as a single parent - for the best part of three decades. She was used to it. She liked it. Her independence was something she valued - cherished, even. Still, even as the thought entered her head, it was immediately pushed aside by how she _actually_ felt. The only thing that she could bring herself to feel was joy at having him there. At having found this gentle, caring, wonderful man. She hadn’t been lying when she told him that she slept better with him around. In fact, _everything_ seemed better with him around. Her heart leapt every time at the realisation that he was willing to be here for her - no, that he _wanted_ to be here. Instead of looking forward to his eventual departure from her condo, she found herself dreading the idea of his leaving. 

She was startled out of her thoughts by the ringing of her cell phone. Cutting the car engine, she glanced at the screen and frowned. Assistant Chief Taylor. Silently hoping for good news, she took a deep breath and answered the call.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

Provenza looked up sharply from the pile of paperwork on his desk at the sound of familiar footsteps crossing the murder room. An unbidden smile briefly crossed his face at the sight of his Captain, who was uncharacteristically dressed in jeans, fitted t-shirt and a smart but casual jacket. She looked good, the lieutenant thought as he watched her approach. No - she looked _great_. There was a healthy glow about her and she no longer moved as if in constant pain. He wondered if this meant they would be getting her back soon and he silently offered a prayer to the gods of never-ending paperwork that this was the case. 

His smile vanished as he suddenly remembered the enormous pile of unfinished reports that he had dumped unceremoniously onto the desk in her office last week and he stood as if to greet her, his body effectively blocking her view of the room. 

“Captain,” he smiled. “How nice to see you. Were we expecting you?”

Sharon returned his smile, casting a brief knowing glance in the direction of her office. He wasn’t as good at hiding things as he liked to think and he was definitely trying to divert her attention, to avoid her seeing something. She would make sure to sneak a look in there later, she decided. 

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” She touched his arm briefly. “I wasn't planning on coming in today. Chief Taylor called me to discuss my return to work.”

“So soon?” Provenza’s relief at the thought that she might be coming back to relieve him from the tedium of form-filling was replaced with concern. Upon closer inspection, she still seemed slightly drawn, the events of the last few weeks evident in her eyes even as she managed to keep them from showing on her face or in her countenance. Of course, she looked a hundred times better than when he last saw her in the hospital, but she was not quite back to herself, either. “Are you sure that’s wise, Sharon?”

She offered him a warm smile. 

“I’m fine, Lieutenant.” She rolled her eyes at his skeptical frown. “Really, I’m doing so much better. The doctors have declared me fit to return to duty, as long as I take things easy for a couple of weeks.” She looked down then, before continuing in a low voice. “And I’m going crazy at home.” The look Sharon gave him then was almost pleading and his frown softened into a sympathetic smile. “Besides,” she continued, a wicked grin flashing across her features. “It looks like you could use some help with the paperwork.” She deftly sidestepped him so that she could fully see in through her office windows. As she had suspected, the stack of files and papers on her desk was unmistakeable. 

Sharon allowed herself a triumphant grin, before folding her arms across her chest and turning back to face her lieutenant, who shrugged sheepishly at her. She glared at him disapprovingly over the top of her glasses and was about to speak when she was interrupted.

“Captain!” 

Provenza was saved by Amy’s joyful cry as she entered the room, closely followed by Julio, Mike and Buzz. Their animated discussion had ceased as soon as they realised their Captain was in the room, and they were looking at her with undisguised joy on their faces. Sharon glanced up and smiled at her team, warmth flooding through her at their reaction to her presence. Even after all this time, she was still somewhat unused to anyone other than FID officers being pleased by her arrival. Realising just how much this team cared about her brought tears to her eyes and a lump to her throat. She hummed to herself contentedly.

Amy practically ran over to where she still stood with Provenza, skidding to a stop just before she crashed into Sharon. She bounced on the spot for a moment, unsure of the correct protocol in a situation such as this, before throwing caution to the wind and pulling Sharon into a tight hug.

“It’s great to see you, Captain!” she enthused. Sharon chuckled and hugged the detective back warmly. “You look amazing!”

Amy stepped back quickly, embarrassed by her sudden show of emotion, worried that she had crossed a line.

“Thank you, Amy.” Sharon squeezed the young woman’s arm reassuringly before turning to the rest of her team.

“Good to see you, Ma’am.”

“You look well.”

“Are you coming back to work, Captain?”

Sharon laughed and held up a hand at the onslaught. 

“It’s good to see you too, Julio - _all_ of you. I am well, thank you, Mike. Buzz - I’m here to see Chief Taylor, I hope to be back at work soon.” They smiled and nodded at her words. “I need to thank you all - for what you did for me while I was in the hospital… Taking care of the condo, and my phone… I…” She took a shaky breath and swallowed hard, closing her eyes briefly against the tears that were threatening to fall. She felt Provenza’s hand touch her upper arm supportively and she turned to him, offering him a watery smile before continuing. “I really appreciated everything. It meant so much.” She rested a hand against her heart, unconsciously emphasising her gratitude. “Thank you all.”

“You’re welcome, Ma’am.” It was Julio who spoke for all of them. “We’re just happy that you’re okay.”

“And we can’t wait to have you back,” Amy added excitedly.

“Especially Lieutenant Provenza,” Julio grinned. “Paperwork is not his friend.”

Provenza grumbled under his breath, wondering how the subject had managed to come full circle and end up back on his lack of pen-pushing skills. He looked at the Captain, who had an amused smirk on her face.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he reminded her gruffly. “And the rest of you - back to work, this case won’t solve itself!”

Sharon chuckled. 

“I do indeed, Lieutenant, thank you for the reminder.” She started to walk away from him, before turning back suddenly. “Oh, um, where is Andy?” 

She suddenly realised that she hadn’t yet seen him today, and a pang of disappointment hit her that he was not with the others. 

“He’s with Morales, Ma’am,” Julio called out from his desk. “Would you like me to call down for him?”

Sharon wavered for a moment. A big part of her _really_ wanted to see him - would have given anything to have Julio call him and get him up here now. However, the rational part of her knew that she still had to get this relationship past Taylor. Calling Andy away from a case just so that she could say hello would probably not go down awfully well with the Assistant Chief. She shook her head slightly.

“No, that’s okay,” she replied, deliberately keeping her tone light. “Thank you, Julio. I’ll talk to him later.”

Her detective nodded his acknowledgement and she faced Provenza once more.

“Lieutenant.” He looked up at the soft tone in her voice. 

“Captain?”

“Is there anything in that paper mountain in my office that can’t wait until Monday?”

His cheeks coloured but he shook his head.

“No. Anything urgent I’m taking care of now.”

Sharon nodded thoughtfully, then offered him a smile. 

“Then leave it, Lieutenant,” she said finally. “I’ll deal with it when I get back.”

Provenza’s mouth fell open and it was all she could do not to giggle as he barely managed a nod and a strangled “thank you” in response. Then, with a smile and a wave to her team, she turned and headed slowly away from the murder room.

 

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

 

“Come in.” 

The reply to her knock on Taylor’s office door was abrupt and Sharon took a deep breath, hoping that this wouldn’t set the tone for their meeting. She was ready to fight for her return to work, but she had really been hoping that she wouldn’t have to. Casting her eyes skyward for a moment, Sharon pushed the door slowly open and stepped inside.

“Ah, Captain Raydor.” Chief Taylor looked up and _smiled_ at her. That was weird. “Sharon. It’s so good to see you.”

Her eyes had widened slightly at the warmth of his greeting and she blinked at him slowly, before recovering herself enough to give an appropriate response.

“Thank you, Chief. It’s good to be here.”

He gestured to a chair in front of his desk and she sat down carefully, still slightly thrown by his unexpected friendliness.

“How are you, Sharon?” He seemed genuinely concerned and she felt herself relax slightly.

“I’m fine. Good. Much better.” She chuckled self-consciously. It wasn’t like her to be this nervous around anyone, but the attack had thrown her more than she cared to admit. It would take some time until she felt comfortable in her own skin again - until she felt completely back in control. “I’m good, Chief,” she said again, more confidently. “Thank you.”

He studied her carefully, his expression giving nothing away.

“I see your doctors have decided that you are fit to return to work - albeit on light duties.”

“That’s right,” she agreed cautiously, still ready to go on the defensive if need be. 

He leaned forwards in his seat, his hands clasped on the desk in front of him, and met her firm gaze with his own.

“Do you _feel_ ready?”

She continued to meet his gaze unblinkingly.

“Yes, Chief. I do.” 

It was true. If there had been any doubt before, seeing her team had confirmed to her that she had the support in place to be able to step back into her role as Captain. They had reassured her completely. If she had been anxious to return to work before, now she was desperate to be back.

The surety of her reply must have reassured Taylor, because he smiled and nodded once more.

“In that case, I see no reason why you shouldn’t come back on Monday morning.” He chuckled as her eyes reflected her joy. “You’ll be desk-bound for the first two weeks. If everything goes smoothly, you can return to normal duties after that.”

Sharon nodded eagerly. That was just fine with her. She would probably need two weeks to clear up Provenza’s paperwork disaster, anyway.

“Thank you, Chief.”

Taylor looked down at his desk then and cleared his throat, pausing before he spoke again.

“I understand that Jackson contacted you.” Sharon gave a small nod. “Has that situation been dealt with?”

“Yes, Chief. Gavin Baker handled it.”

Taylor smirked slightly, remembering only too well the department’s dealings with Sharon’s lawyer friend.

“Ah. In that case, it has _definitely_ been dealt with.”

Sharon allowed herself a chuckle in return. 

“I think that’s everything, then,” Taylor smiled. He looked at Sharon expectantly when she made no move to rise from her seat. Her hands twisted awkwardly in her lap and she suddenly refused to quite meet his gaze. “Was there something else, Captain?”

“Actually, Chief…” she started.

Taylor interrupted her immediately.

“If this is about the situation with you and Lieutenant Flynn, you really don’t need to say anything.”

Sharon looked up at him then, confused. She wasn’t completely surprised that he knew about her and Andy - it didn’t take a genius to figure out that there was more to their relationship than just friendship, especially given all the time Andy had taken off work to look after her. But still, the Chief’s calm acceptance had thrown her.

“Chief, I need to report a change in my relationship with a subordinate…”  
“Sharon,” he interrupted her again with a smile. “Consider it reported.”

She looked at him incredulously which only caused his smile to widen.

“Look,” he started, spreading his hands in front of him. “We may not always see eye to eye, but one thing I am certain of is that you will _always_ follow the rules. As long as this change doesn’t impact on your squad, I don’t need to hear any more about it. Okay?”

She looked at him for a long moment, before nodding slowly.

“Okay,” she agreed. “Thank you, Chief.”

He gave her a brief nod before dismissing her with a movement of his hand. She stood and made her way to the door, opening it before turning again at the sound of his voice.

“Captain?”

“Yes, Chief?”

“I’ll see you on Monday.”


	15. Finally Ready To Be Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has earned its ‘M’ rating - don’t say you weren’t warned! I will also warn you all right now, before we even get started, that I am supremely horrible at writing ’s-e-x’. Mostly because I’ve never written it before! That said, I honestly felt that these idiots’ story required this conclusion and, well, practice makes perfect, right?! Just… judge not, and all that!
> 
> This is the final chapter, the end of the journey - and what an epic trip it has been! You all are wonderful and have made this newbie to fanfic feel so incredibly welcomed into your community. 
> 
> Thank you so much to all of you for being so generous to me with your time and your words - and if you have any burning reviews to leave, this is your final call!

The sound of Andy’s key in the lock came earlier than Sharon had been expecting it to. She closed the book she had been reading and pulled herself more upright on the couch, smiling warmly at him as he walked through the door. 

Her breath caught and she felt a sudden rush of desire flood through her at the sight of him. He was wearing the green shirt today. Her favourite. The fleeting thought crossed her mind that it was probably a good thing that she _hadn’t_ seen him in the murder room earlier.

He threw a lopsided grin at her as he removed his jacket, draping it over the back of a dining chair. Rounding the couch, he leaned over her, dropping a kiss onto her lips before settling down beside her. Sharon placed the forgotten novel on the coffee table and moved closer to him, placing several quick kisses at the corner of his mouth as she swung a leg over his body, straddling him where he sat.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” he teased, as she settled herself in his lap. Sharon hummed in response before kissing him fully, her hands resting on his shoulders. She parted her lips slightly when he responded to the contact and he took full advantage, his tongue entering her mouth, stroking hers slowly. 

She finally broke the kiss and sat back, smiling at him.

“Hi,” she said, her voice significantly lower than its usual timbre.

“Hi,” he breathed back, stroking her hair behind her ear and bestowing another kiss on her mouth. “I’m sorry I missed you at the office earlier. Provenza said Taylor called you in.”

“Mm-hmm.” She was already distracted, kissing her way along his jaw. 

“You’re coming back to work Monday, I hear.” His breath hitched as her tongue traced the shell of his ear, another hum her only response to his attempt at conversation. “Did you get a chance to report…you know… _us_?”

Oh, for God’s sake, this was ridiculous - and definitely not the direction she intended the conversation to be taking. Taylor was the last thing on her mind right now. She broke off from her exploration of the sensitive skin behind his ear and sighed in frustration.

" _Andy_!"

She sounded exasperated and for the life of him, he couldn't understand _why_... Until she finally lifted her head and met his gaze. Her eyes were a deep, forest green and the heat they held in their depths was unmistakeable. It suddenly became clear to Andy exactly where this was heading and his breath hitched again as his grip on her hips instinctively tightened. Sharon's face wore a satisfied smirk as she watched the realisation dawn across his features and felt him harden beneath her, and she shifted her weight slightly on his lap so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable.

Andy licked his suddenly dry lips as she carefully undid the knot of his tie, before lifting herself up onto her knees and capturing his mouth in a slow, heated kiss. Her hair cascaded around her face in a soft curtain and he lifted his hands to run his fingers through the long tresses. Her fingers deftly moved to the buttons of his dress shirt, undoing them quickly, revelling in the warmth of the skin she found underneath.

Andy groaned into her mouth as she ran her hands across his chest, his own hands moving around her body, underneath her fitted tee, stroking patterns on the soft skin of her lower back and causing her to release a deep hum of pleasure that went straight to his groin. Sharon leaned forwards, her breasts grazing his chest through the fabric of her shirt, the friction that the action created feeling delicious.

He broke the kiss and stared up at her, his dark eyes searching her own.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked softly, his fingers never stilling in their ministrations against her skin.

She met his gaze, her fingertips stroking through his hair tenderly. God, she loved this man. That he even asked the question - that he would be willing to stop, even now - made her heart ache with the strength of the emotion she felt for him.

"I'm sure," she murmured, pressing her lips to his softly. "I've never been more sure." She stroked his face and he smiled up at her. "We've wasted so much time." She returned his smile as she repeated his words from that Friday night at the restaurant. The night everything changed. The night that taught her that life really was too short for one day at a time. "I don't want to drift any more. I just want to be with you.” She ran her thumb across his bottom lip in a tender caress, before leaning forwards to whisper in his ear. “I’m not afraid any more. I love you. I _want_ you.”

His fingers tangled in her hair then as he pulled her head down to kiss her desperately. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders and he somehow managed to remove it without breaking the kiss.

Her tongue had made its way into his mouth and Andy sucked on it slowly, as his hands moved back underneath her t-shirt. This time, he pushed it slowly all the way up, taking his time, his fingertips ghosting across her skin as he did so. She shivered in anticipation as she released his mouth and sat back, allowing him to pull the garment over her head. It joined his shirt and tie on the back of the couch.

Sharon watched his pupils dilate, his expression awestruck as his eyes travelled across her body. His hands were back on her skin, although they barely touched her. His palms grazed her sides, his thumbs briefly stroking the sides of her breasts before his hands moved back down to her waist. Her skin tingled under his touch. 

“You are so beautiful.”

Andy’s hands settled on her hips then, pulling her forward on his lap, before he closed the gap between them, his mouth going straight to one breast. He sucked on it through the black lace of her bra, one hand coming up to palm her other breast firmly. Her arms locked around his neck as her head fell back and she moaned softly, a delicious heat coiling in her belly. She rocked her hips, her lower body pressed firmly against his, feeling him grow ever harder under her as she moved. The growl he released was primal, his grip on her body tightening and she hissed with arousal as his teeth nipped and his tongue moved against her.

Her eyes closed as his mouth moved up from her breast, along her collarbone before settling against her neck, his tongue drawing exquisite patterns against the sensitive skin below her ear. She forced her eyes open again, leaning into him, her mouth just touching his ear.

"Bedroom," she husked softly, her lips barely grazing his skin. Andy ceased his ministrations and looked up at her, finding her eyes an impossibly dark shade of green as they met his. "Now."

Andy didn't need telling twice. His arms went around her and he stood, lifting her with him easily. She squealed as her arms held tightly on to his neck, her legs wrapped around his middle, and he grinned at her. He paused in the hallway when her impatient mouth began to lick and nibble at his ear, resting her back against the wall before taking her mouth in a passionate, desire-fuelled kiss, his pelvis pressing against her heat insistently.

"Andy..." 

His name left her lips in a breathy exhale and he nipped at her bottom lip in response, moaning softly, before lifting her once more and heading down the hallway to her bedroom.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

Andy gently laid Sharon on the bed and kissed her soundly, before moving backwards and standing between her legs. He undid the buttons of her jeans, before sliding the soft denim down her legs slowly, savouring every inch of new skin that was exposed to him as he did so.

She kneeled up on the bed once he had removed her jeans, reaching for him so that she could unfasten his belt and pants. She tilted her head back as she did so and he bent to kiss her, cradling her head in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. As his tongue entered her mouth, his hands drifted downwards, eventually finding the clasp of her bra. He undid it at the same time that she pushed his pants and boxers down his legs, each item soon discarded haphazardly on the floor. 

Carefully, he pushed her down on the bed until she was once again laying on her back, gazing up at him. He grinned at her, before his mouth descended to her skin once more. Starting at her neck, Andy kissed his way slowly down her body, positively revelling in the taste of her that was so new to him, mentally logging every moan of pleasure that he caused to fall from her mouth. He took his time learning her, committing every inch of her to memory. 

Andy only paused when he reached her belly. His eyes teared up as his fingers delicately traced the still-angry scar that marked the soft skin of her abdomen, just to the left of her navel. Her breath hitched as he pressed his lips to it in the lightest of kisses and he looked up to find her watching him, an unreadable expression in her soft gaze.

"You are beautiful, Sharon.”

She smiled softly at him, a disbelieving expression in her eyes even as she nodded slightly at his words. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and paused, his dark eyes questioning. She nodded again, and he pulled the delicate lace down her legs, discarding it with the rest of their clothing on the floor.

His mouth went to work again then, kissing his way slowly up from her ankles, along her calves to her inner thighs. The higher he went, the slower his caresses became, until she was moaning beneath him, desperate with need.

Sharon could feel him hard against her thigh as she squirmed underneath him. She bucked her hips, her body begging now, his every touch making her crazy.

“Andy…" He lifted his head his fingers still teasing her, awakening every nerve ending, scorching their way across her tingling skin. “Now… _Please_!” she managed to pant out, knowing she sounded desperate but long past caring.

He stopped what he was doing and moved up her body, kissing his way along her skin until his face was level with hers. Settling himself between her legs, he leaned down and bestowed upon her the most tender kiss she had ever received in her life. His eyes met hers and she smilingly gave him a quick nod.

Sharon gasped and arched her back as Andy carefully pushed into her. Once fully inside he stilled, his eyes locked onto hers. There were so many emotions held within his gaze that Sharon felt her breath catch in her throat as he studied her. She saw love, desire, awe...and hesitation. He needed to be sure she was ready for this - for him. He was afraid of hurting her, she realised.

She lifted her hand to his face, stroking his cheek with her fingertips, her eyes never leaving his, the love she felt for him in this moment making her heart ache. 

"It's okay," she whispered, rocking her hips slightly and causing him to moan softly. "I'm ready." She smiled at him. "I won't break."

He must have seen the truth of her words in her darkened eyes, because the next thing she knew, his mouth was on hers in a fierce kiss, his tongue entering her mouth forcefully. She hummed loudly as her hand found its way into his hair, her fingers tugging lightly on the short strands.

Sharon hooked her legs around Andy's body, her other hand gripping his shoulder as he began to move inside her, slowly at first, allowing her to adjust to him, then faster, building to an exquisite rhythm.

"Oh, _God_!" 

She broke the kiss and cried out as he picked up the pace, her hips meeting his, her fingers clutching at his skin. He grunted when she drew her nails down his muscular back, then grinned against her neck as he kissed his way slowly down from her jaw to her shoulder, stopping every so often to nip at her sensitive skin.

Sharon shifted underneath him, changing the angle and forcing him deeper. The sensations he was creating were like nothing she had ever known and she let out a moan from deep in her throat as her hands fisted the bedclothes. Her skin was on fire as he quickened the pace, his skilful mouth heightening her arousal to an impossible level. Her every nerve ending tingled as a stream of unintelligible sounds left her lips, he felt so good and oh, God! Why did she wait so long? _Why_ , when all she wanted was this, was him?

Their lips met in a frantic kiss. 

Andy's hand gripped her hip, pulling her to him possessively even as his other hand stroked the hair away from her face tenderly. He was so close, he could feel it, he didn't think anything had ever felt so good. He lifted his head and his eyes, black with desire now, locked onto hers once more. Sharon gasped, a guttural moan escaping her lips. No man had ever made her feel like this. She had no idea she even _could_ feel like this. He was eliciting sounds from her that she had been unaware she could even make.

He was still lost in her eyes as he came, her name leaving his lips like a prayer, his touch at the same time so raw and yet so tender. It was enough. It was all she needed. She arched up into him as her world exploded around her and all she could think, all she could feel, was him.

 

✻     ✻     ✻     ✻     ✻

 

He leaned on his forearms, his body still on top of her, his damp forehead resting gently against hers as they panted, breathless. She hummed into his mouth as he kissed her, slowly now, sensual, taking the time to really taste her. Her arms went around his neck as their tongues met and she pulled him down onto her body, the weight of him delicious against her. 

Sharon's legs remained wrapped around him, holding him in place, maintaining the connection. Andy lifted himself onto his elbow, studying her with eyes that had lightened slightly to a beautiful, molten brown.

"That was..." He stopped, at a loss for any words that could do her justice.

She smiled up at him languidly, her fingers stroking his face. 

"Yes," she agreed in a whisper. "It was.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

"I love you," he murmured, peppering her hairline with tiny kisses.

"I love you." Golden flecks danced in her jade gaze as it bore into him, the intensity of their emotions taking over as they studied each other softly, no need for more words.

"I should move," Andy said eventually. He frowned when she shook her head adamantly at him. "I'm too heavy."

"No. I like it." She reached her hand around behind his head, pulling him back down to her so that she could dance her tongue along his bottom lip, before taking it into her mouth and sucking slowly. She closed her eyes as she deepened the kiss, and he used the distraction to roll onto his side, pulling her with him.

Sharon let out a frustrated little moan and he laughed softly, tucking her into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"You are incredible," he murmured as he gazed at her intently.

She blushed, but sighed happily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.

"If I'd known it would be that good," she said after a while, amusement in her tone, "I would probably have jumped you right after the wedding."

She felt Andy's chuckle rumble through her as he leaned in to kiss her.

"If I'd known it'd be that good, I'd definitely have let you."

Andy's expression turned serious as he studied her face, and he reached down to take her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Some things are worth waiting for," he said softly, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing her fingertips.

"Yes," Sharon murmured back in agreement, her eyes slipping closed. "Some things most definitely are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I told you… It’s not my fault. Blame the other #FlynnGirls - they corrupted my muse! Ladies, you know who you are!
> 
> I’ll be back soon - I already have more ideas buzzing around my head than I know what to do with. Looks like Flynn and Raydor aren’t moving out any time soon! And of course, I’ll have more #ShandySundayHiatus fics for you, too.
> 
> Oh, and a virtual gold star to anyone who has figured out where the story and chapter titles for this fic (as well as the three related one-shots) came from :D


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